For Those Times You Feed Your Kids In The Car {A Lazy Mom Tip}

Lazy Moms find ways to make life simpler. We have to. We're lazy.

So I'm instituting a new feature on the Lazy Mom blog --> Lazy Mom Tips. These are tips that make life easier for lazy moms (not for perfect moms, because if we were all perfect moms we wouldn't need these tips because we would have everything together and never ever need to simplify anything).

So the first Lazy Mom Tip is for those times that you feed your kids in the car. You know, that little thing that perfect moms would never do, but lazy moms do quite regularly? Yeah, that.

A friend showed me a great item to keep in the car for those lazy moments of car feeding. These handy dandy trays:

These trays make car feedings go A LOT more smoothly than ever before. Buy you a stack of these bad boys and say goodbye to fumbling with flimsy cheeseburger wrappers for good! These trays not only provide a sturdy place for the burger, they also have room for the french fries, the drink and ... (hold your breath)... even the ketchup! *GASP*

I keep a stack of these little beauties in-between my seats to pull out at a moments notice. I even bought a tray in each of my Little Darlings' favorite colors, to keep the arguing down (I know. I'm brilliant). I can't tell you enough how much I love this Lazy Mom Tip. It makes me so happy I want to scream with delight!
"AHHHHHHH!"
Oops, that one escaped me because of the sheer happiness I'm feeling in just telling you about this! Sorry.

So where do you buy these amazing trays? You can find them at Walmart and the Dollar General usually. They run about $1 each. I love my trays so much I bought two more sets for each Little Darling to eat off of at home. I think it's the compartments that make me like it. I love compartments. Compartments make life easier, don't you agree?

Anyway. For clean up I occasionally take them inside and throw them in the dishwasher, but the real lazy mom way to clean them is the way I normally do it 99% of the time - buy you some handy dandy anti-bacterial wipes and give them a once over before you plate the food up.

So go forth and buy you some car feeding trays! You can thank me later.

--
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The Way Lazy Moms Travel...

Today our family drove 11 hours to visit family. I discovered that I'm a lazy mom even when I'm traveling. How, you ask?

1. After 20 minutes of travel I had already pulled out the DVD player and put in the first video.
2. After 3 hours of travel (while stuck in traffic in a very large city) I was holding an OJ carton for my 4 year old son to go potty in.
3. After 4 hours of travel my husband and I stopped four different times at various stores in search of Dramamine to knock our kids out with.
4. After 6 hours of travel I had resorted to bribery with candy.
5. After 8 hours of driving I buried myself into a book and ignored requests from the back seat.

Yeah, I'm a lazy mom even while traveling.

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Things I've Always Wanted To Do With My Kids.....

....... but will probably never do...

1. Take them to the Art Museum
2. Get out the box of paints I have hidden on the top shelf in the basement
3. Set up a lemonade stand
4. Fill the bathtub with snow for them to play with on a day that it's too cold to go outside (like that one mom does)
5. Make pickles out of our cucumbers even though I've had the magazine page ear marked for over a year now
6. Make barbie clothes for her barbies like my mom did for me
7. Make butter like this fabulous mommy
8. Read all the library books we borrow and return them on time
9. Teach her that eleventeen is not actually a real number
10. Organize her toys and find a place for each and every last polly pocket

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I'm A Digusting Mom

It's 8:45pm and I just realized I haven't brushed my teeth all day.
Hey! Don't make that face at me! If you're a mom then you've done the same thing and you know it! If it isn't forgetting to brush your teeth, then you've at least forgotten once to put on deodorant.
Yes you have.
YES you have.
Don't you use that tone with me!

*sigh*

I'm definitely a lazy mom...

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Things I've Always Wanted To Do....

...But probably will never do...

1. Organize my recipes
2. Frame those pictures
3. Scrub my baseboards
4. Scrapbook my kids' lives in fancy scrapbooks with die cuts, stickers, and borders
5. Sweep all the dust bunnies out from under my bed
6. Fill in all the information in each child's baby book
7. Dust my ceiling fans
8. Sew the one last set of curtains I already have all the stuff for
9. Finish my Bachelor's Degree
10. Lose those twenty pounds
    

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1-800-CONFESS

This morning I received a phone call from a good friend of mine...

Me - "Hello?"

Anonymous Mother - "I have a dirty little secret to confess."

Me - "If you tell me your secret, it is subject to being posted on my blog."

[lots of evil laughter on my end of the phone]

A. M. - "I know. That's why I didn't email you! Because a) I didn't have time to email and b) I knew you'd post it on your blog!"

[Silly of her to trust me wasn't it?]

Me - "Okay, so what's your secret?"

A. M. - "Sometimes, when I don't have time to mop the floors, I just clean the one spot where my husband stands in his bare feet to make coffee. That way he doesn't know the whole floor isn't clean."

[Lots of hilarious laughter on my end of the phone]

Me - "That's great!"

A. M. - "Hey! I've heard of some women spraying pledge by the front door of the house so that when their husband comes home he thinks she's cleaned the house!"

[more laughter]

Me - "That's not a bad idea! I may just have to do that one! ... So do you feel better now that your dirty little secret is off your chest?"

A. M. - "I do."

Me - "Well, I'm no Pope, but I'll go ahead and forgive you this sin."
A. M. - "As long as I say three Hail Lazy Mom's?"

Me - "That sounds about right."

So I guess my "review" of the book I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids, must have struck a cord with some of you moms out there!

Does anyone else want to confess their dirty little mom secrets to me? I promise I won't post your name ... just our conversation! Muahahahahaha! [lost of evil laughter]

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I Was A Really Good Mom before I Had Kids

Okay, I just have to give a shout out about the book I am currently reading. I first heard about this book not too long ago when the authors were being interviewed on TV. I made a mental note to read the book and checked the library to see if they had a copy. At the time the library didn't, so I forgot about it until several days ago when I found myself browsing at the library again and low and behold, there it was!

I can't even begin to tell you how great this book has made me feel! I'm not alone in this crazy quest called motherhood! YEA! I have literally been laughing out loud at some of the comments that other moms share in the book! Hilarious "dirty little secrets" litter the book. One mom's dirty little secret is: "We've agreed not to have a TV in our house. The moment my husband goes out of town, I pull out the hidden 13 inch tv and rent some videos for my kids." Hahahaha!

The book is very easy to read. The way it is broken up with comments and confessions of other moms (and dads) is very clever. It even has several quizzes for you to take. One of them that really cracked me up was quiz number 7:
"You know you've lost yourself completely when..."(check all that apply)

• You can't remember the last time you showered without two (or more) eyes on you.
• It's normal to leave the house with Barbie stickers plastered to your thigh.
• You reflexively refer to the bathroom as "the potty"
• You get competitive about winning Chutes and Ladders
• You ask your children questions like "Do these jeans make my butt look big?"
• You find yourself rescuing a tiny LEGO man from a poopy toilet
• You drink from a sippy cup in public

So to all you crazy moms out there, I highly recommend reading this book. One warning: It isn't a book from the Christian bookstore, so there are a few colorful words in it that I don't really care for.
But according to the authors you should definately read this book if:

• You consider going to the dentist your special "alone time"
• You'd trade your husband for a housekeeper
• You secretly wish you had your own apartment
• You find that slowly browsing the aisles at Target, by yourself, is better than therapy
• If you have to play Go Fish one more time, you will definately poke your eyeballs out

Or read this book if you can identify with the following:
"I love being a mom; I just hate doing it!"

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