Are You Crazy or Lazy?

Here are ten ways that you can tell if you are a "crazy" mom or a "lazy" mom:

1. A "crazy" mom spends every night gathering together the things her children need for the next day. Then, she proceeds to pack their backpacks and lunches. A "lazy" mom spends some concentrated effort in training her kids to be responsible for their own things and to help pack the lunches. Then she will never have to pack a backpack again.
2. A "crazy" mom does everyone's laundry. Then, she spends hours folding it and putting it away. A "lazy" mom teaches her children to do their own laundry. When her children are toddlers, she teaches them to fold washcloths. By the time they are 7 or 8 years old they are doing their own laundry and she never has to do it for them again.
3. A "crazy" mom cleans her whole house herself, every week. A "lazy" mom trains her kids to do the cleaning. If she has many children, she won't have to do any of the regular cleaning herself.
4. A "crazy" mom goes through her house, picking up glasses, dishes, shoes, dirty socks, and toys, in an effort to keep the house clean, in spite of her children. A "lazy" mom calls the child to pick up after him/herself. She will even resort to dishing out extra chores to kids who won't stop leaving messes around. Her goal is to never have to pick up after her children again.
5. The "crazy" mom encounters an overflowing trash can and takes it out herself. The "lazy" mom has assigned one of her children to be in charge of trash and calls him/her to take it out. She even has a child to take out the recycling.
6. A "crazy" mom cooks a wonderful dinner, sets the table, serves the meal, clears the table, and does the dishes herself. A "lazy" mom has a cook's helper, a table setter, and a server. She sits down and enjoys her meal. The dishwashers take care of the cleaning and the washing. Who are these helpers, you may ask? Why, her children, of course. She took the time to train the children to do these chores and then assigned the jobs to them.
7. A "crazy" mom drives her children to sports, lessons, meetings, and more. A "lazy" mom arranges her life to stay home as much as possible. She limits her children's outside activities to one, or at most two, outings a week. She finds that she and the kids are happier at home and many special projects get finished.
8. A "crazy" mom often feels taken for granted and may begin to resent her family's dependence on her. A "lazy" mom is free to do little things for her kids, out of love, and to honor them. Things she used to feel she had to do, now become thoughtful favors for the ones she loves.
9. A "crazy" mom may find her children are not equipped to face adult responsibilities when they leave the nest. A "lazy" mom can rest in confidence that she helped build maturity in her children and gave them the skills they needed to build strong families of their own.
10. The "crazy" mom loves her kids and is just doing what she thinks she should. I hope she reads this article, and starts being a little "lazy". The "lazy" mom, well, I guess she isn't really "lazy" at all, just smart.

Note: © Copyright 2001 Theresa Gibson

To learn more about being a Lazy Mom, read our series: Parenting the Lazy Mom Way.

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Yet again...

Two words for this video: Hi. Larious.

Once again, get past the intro and it's a goodie!

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I need your opinion!

My oldest LD is 6 years old. He has been talking more and more about money. Basically he wants to know how he can GET some. So I've told him what every good parent has...

Money doesn't grow on trees...

It doesn't fall from the sky... (oh, how I wish it did!)

You can't plant it and make it grow...

You have to EARN it.

So, I've decided that it's time for him to start doing some jobs.

That's where you come in....

I need some ideas of jobs I can give him and how much he should be paid for them.

And just so you know, I've told him that jobs around the house that help make the house run more smoothly are not jobs that he can earn money for. He does those jobs because he is a part of our family and he lives here!

So I need ideas for other jobs. Jobs that go above and beyond common housework.

I've been thinking about buying him one of these "giving banks."

Do any of you have one? What do you like/dislike about them?

Any ideas for jobs he can do???

Leave me a comment below!

PLEEEEEEASE!

I need your help!

LM1

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Another Funny Commercial

Once you get past the product intro it is too funny!

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Lazy Mom Tip #6

Today's tip is a twofer, so hold on tight!

Have you ever seen these little ice cube things?

They are wonderful for many reasons! We keep a sack of them in the freezer at all times.

I discovered the first part of this tip when I saw a mom at church had some of these ice cubes in her sons sippie cup of milk. She explained that it keeps the milk cold longer and it doesn't melt and water it down. I thought it was brilliant!

At that time all of my kids were in the sippie cup phase of life, (and I'm ALMOST out of it! Whoo-hoo!) so I ran out and bought a whole bunch of these ice cube things. And I discovered that not only are they great for keeping drinks cold longer, but they are also great to put on boo-boo's that the LD's inevitably get.

Which takes me to the second part of this tip... As soon as someone gets hurt and the tears start to flow, they almost always stop when I tell them, "Oh! Go get an ice cube out of the freezer!" They think it is so much fun to open the freezer and pull out a colorful ice cube for their boo-boo. Of course we can send them to the freezer because we have one of those bottom mount freezer type refrigerators. I don't recommend sending them if they can't reach it. Obviously.

We even used these little ice cube things to make homemade "boo-boo bunnys" at our MOPS group a couple of years ago! Very cute!

So anyway! Where can you find these ice cube wonders? I bought mine at Bed, Bath & Beyond, so I'm sure you could find them at Linen's and Things. I've also seen them at Walmart when they have the warm seasonal items out.

Any ideas of what else you could use these for? We love hearing from you, so leave us a comment and let us know!

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UPDATE: Can You Smell the Chlorine?

Ok, I know it's been a while since I've posted on here and for that I apologize! What can I say?... I've been lazy, but I have missed all you lazymoms!

I have a lot to post about in the coming days and weeks but for now I just had to tell you about the guy that was just at our house. He was from Rain Soft, a water conditioner dealer (which is not to be confused with a water softener, we learned). Anyway, I was on the phone when he got here. When I finished and came downstairs and was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of rank cigarettes in my house. The air was think with its stench. UGH!!! And our windows were open if that gives you any idea of how horrible it was. It was so putrid that I had to cover my mouth and nose, discretely, of course, through most of the meeting with him.

The guy had already started the demonstration so I just kinda watched as he went on and on about how much our water and all its contaminants were killing us and our little one. He even had a binder filled with articles from all the local papers declaring how murderous our water is. (It reminded me of how people pick and choose Scriptures to support their views and disregard the rest that doesn't say what they want it to.) Oh!, and the smell that poured out of that stinkin' (pun intended) binder every time he turned the page!!!! Oh my dear me!!! I do believe that my family smelled the after burn of 10,000 cigarettes. Holy cow!!!

He went on and on and on about how chlorine is more dangerous and causes more cases of cancer than cigarettes but none of the faucet companies are required to put warning labels on their packaging like cigarette companies have to. I thought it a rather odd sales tactic, seeing as my house, that had all the windows open, reeked of his stale, nasty cigarettes and his voice betrayed his lifelong addiction of the little sticks. Hmmm... probably not the best advertising point.

We've had a previous experience with this brand of water purifier with poor results, so we were just being courteous in listening to him. So when it came time to talk money and ordering we said that we'll pass. He then went on for another 20 minutes about why it's so affordable... Does $5000-8000 sound affordable to anyone who is living on one income of a pastor? It didn't to us either, but then he "sweetened" the offer by telling us that for the first 5 years of having their system we would receive all of the cleaning products we could use for free! Well, there you go!!! Since I love to clean so much! Why didn't he just say that sooner?

I then asked him if the products were all natural and organic (like the one I currently use) and he was quick to say that they are made with natural products. Hmmm... I'm pretty sure that is different than being all natural and organic. But then he said what I'm sure he thought would be the closer for the deal....

He said that these free products would save me $80 a month. I couldn't possibly have heard him correctly, so I said, "excuse me, did you just say $80 a month on cleaning products!?!" WHAT!?!?!?! I have never spent that. Ever. I told him so and I think that I further deflated his hopes of a quick sale to a gullible young couple.

When he left, we were still so overwhelmed by the stench he left and underwhelmed by his sales tactics that we just had to laugh. The poor man. He was a nice enough guy and I'm sure he really believes he has a great product, but I don't think that he has realized yet that he's not doing himself an favors by drinking pure water when he smokes a pack a day. He's kinda canceling out any benefits that may be gained from showing with pure water. I'm sorry nice Rain Soft man. You may be drinking pure water, but you're still killing yourself.

But I just have to ask you LazyMoms a few things after my experience tonight....

1. Do you use a water purification system and what is your experience with or without it?

2. Do you seriously spend $80 a month on cleaning supplies?

(If you do, we need to have a very serious talk. You do not need to be spending that! Are you kidding me!?!)

3. What's worse? Dying from a chlorine induced carcinogen? Or from smoking a couple packs a day for a shortened lifetime?

And in closing I have to be honest and tell you that if we were in the market for a water purification we would get something like this and like this. Until we are, we'll enjoy our chlorinated, murderous, hard water.

:::LM2:::

UPDATE: Ok I just had to share this. Last night after I got my little one to bed I jumped in the shower. While in there I thought about all that stinky cigarette man had said. I'm ingesting more chlorine from the shower I'm taking than if I were to take a drink from a chlorinated pool! Wow! He also said that our water "reeked" of chlorine, but because we were so used to it, we couldn't smell it. Um, no, we couldn't smell it because something else reeked way worse than the chlorine. But all in all, I had a good shower. I smelled good when I was done and my husband didn't mind that I had just "taken a drink from a pool."

Oh and for the record, we aren't in the market for what he was trying to sell us. We won a second place prize from a contest we entered at Home Depot and the free water testing was one of the things we won. Oooo... so glad I entered that contest.

We have a separate faucet purifier next to the regular faucet at my kitchen sink. I use that for all drinking, cooking, etc. Maybe we should start showering in our sink with that faucet. Hmmm... that may not be such a bad idea.

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Fake Fixes

To rev me up for the fast approaching holidays, I'm reading a book called Simple Hospitality by Jane Jarrell. So far I am thoroughly enjoying the book! She's got some great ideas for making hospitality simple - hence the name of the book. I know. Mind boggling.

Well the chapter I read today cracked me up, so I just had to share some of it with you LM's out there! First of all, check out the quote that the author has at the beginning of the chapter:

"If you do housework for $10 a week, that's domestic service.
If you do it for nothing, that's matrimony." - Anonymous

Hahahaha!
Yeah, I'd be anonymous too, if I said that one!

After that quote, she launches in to how to make housework easier. All great tips, one of them being the flylady tip - shiny sink 101.

But that isn't the funny part (is housework EVER funny?). What's funny is at the end of the chapter where she tells you her tried and true top-notch "fake fixes" to cleaning. All of which are meant to be humurous, but could certainly be used!

Here's a couple that struck me as funny!

1. If time is really crunched and your dust level is out of control, get out your can of Pledge, spray it straight into the air, hit the eye-level spots with a paper towel, and you are good to go.
2. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the doorknob to the cluttered room, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed, and the shots are so expensive."
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 30 and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, look confused and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
5. Always keep several get-well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.

Hahahaha! That last one is too great! If any of you come over and see get-well cards around my house then please pretend you didn't read this....

LM1

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Lazy Mom Tip #5

Today's tip is all about timers!

Timers are great for many different LM tasks.

I discovered the beauty of timers when a fellow mom showed up at a women's craft night at our church with hers. We were all tucked into a back room and she walked in, plopped her stuff down on a table, sat down and pulled out an egg timer! A lot of us looked at her like she was strange, so she explained to us that since she is the mother of five Little Darlings, she had on more than one occasion forgotten to pick up one of her LD's from somewhere because the time had gotten away from her. So she carried a timer with her so she can set it to go off and remind her she has to leave to go pick someone up!

Nowadays pretty much all of us moms have cell phones with that handy little feature - the alarm. I find myself using that in the same way the mom mentioned above used her egg timer. LM2 has a fabulous idea on how to use the alarm feature for a different purpose and she's going to tell us all about it sometime.

But timers aren't just handy for reminding us we needed to go do something, check out the following list of things you can use a timer for...

1. Set a timer while your child is in "time out" or, at our house, we set the timer for how long they have to stand with their nose on the wall.


2. Use the timer to count down how many minutes left until nap time or bed time. My kids are much easier to get in bed if I set our timer for 10 minutes and tell them to head to their rooms when it goes off.


3. Set a timer for their play time. If I need to leave in a certain amout of time, I set the timer so they know they need to stop playing when it goes off because we need to leave.


4. I also set my timer while their taking a bath. Most kids don't want to get out of the bathtub. To cut out the stalling tactics and arguments over it, I set my timer for 10 minutes (or longer if we have time) and I start it when I'm finished scrubbing them down. They know they have to put their bath toys away when the timer goes off and get out of the tub.


5. Or even use your timer to tell them it's dinner time! Sometimes I tell my kids that when the timer goes off it's time to come and eat.

Anyone else have a good timer suggestion? Leave us a comment to tell us about it!

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Family Fun?

Yesterday my copy of Family Fun arrived. It mocks me every month when it shows up in my mailbox. Taunting me with all the cute little crafts and things that you can do with your kids.

I want to do the crafts with my kids! I really do! There's lots of things I would like to do with my kids, but will probably never do.

*sigh*

When, O when, will I ever find the time and energy to actually do them? I'll let you know when that day comes.


LM1

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Immaculate House or Happy Wife?

I like a neat house.

It doesn't necessarily have to be scrubbed clean and shining like the Chrysler Building (by the way, does that building even shine?) I just like everything in its place. Okay?

Then I had children. Three to be exact. And apparently when children are born into this world they have no sense of things in its place. Like I do.

For the first 5 years of being a mom this drove. me. mad. I'm not OCD or anything, but come on! Put stuff away already!

I had no idea how grumpy I could get over a cluttered, messed up house until my Little Darlings showed me what was really inside me. Which is, by the way, the whole reason I think God blesses us with LD's (and husbands)... to show us what's really inside our hearts. Oh the nastiness of my heart never ceases to amaze me. If I didn't have LD's or a husband, I would still be walking around this fallen world thinking I was made of genuine gold on the inside! But that's another story for another post...

Where was I?... Grumpiness. That's right.

So up until a year ago maybe, I would be so grumpy over my disorderly house that by the time my husband came home from work, I would be a wretched mess. Nothing pretty to come home to, if you ask me. Would YOU want to come home to a grumpy old wife everyday after work? I wouldn't! So I decided I had to learn to let some things go.

Now moms that are old pro's will tell you this a lot when you're a new mom. "Just learn to let some things go...." I knew what they were saying was true, but putting it in to action wasn't so easy! How do you let go of something that drives you mad? That's the problem with those old pro's. They never tell you HOW to do the things they recommend, they just tell you WHAT you should be doing!

But anyway...
I decided to ask my husband a question (this was well over a year ago, so there is no way he'll remember the conversation we had). I asked him if it bothered him when he came home to a messy house? I thought there might be a chance that he'd say yes, (I know I would say yes if someone asked me!) but to my surprise he said no! He didn't care!

Wow. I'm on to something here. I started to become a believer in something... men would rather come home to a happy wife than an immaculate house. Let that sink in. If you really stop and think about it you'll find some great liberation in it!

If my husband doesn't care if the house is a mess when he gets home, then why am I killing myself over it? Why am I letting it affect me the way that it does? What's the point?!

But wait a minute... you don't believe me that your husband would rather come home to a happy wife than an immaculate house? Then go ask him! Ask him what's important to him when he comes home from working all day.

Why would I do that, you ask? Doesn't the Bible say "do to others what you would have them do to you?" Lots of times us wifey-poo's get so caught up in the craziness of our day that we don't stop and put ourselves into our husbands shoes. I'm guilty of it. Alot.

Wouldn't you like it if someone asked you that question? So ask him what he'd like to come home too! If you don't ask, then you'll never know! Maybe you're killing yourself doing something he doesn't even care anything about (like I was) and you don't even know it.

Maybe he does want to come home to a clean house, but doesn't care about something else that you kill yourself doing everyday.
Maybe he'll say he'd rather come home to the smell of dinner cooking on the stove (geez, who wouldn't!).
Maybe he'll say he'd love it if you just put some lipstick on for him!
Maybe he'd just like some nice music on or
maybe, just maybe he'll totally suprise you and say that what's important to him is to spend the first 10 minutes after coming home just sitting on the couch talking to you about his day!

Wow! Wouldn't that be cool? So ladies... throw off the shackles you have put on yourself and get lazy! Ask your husband what he would like to come home to and let go of all the other stuff that isn't necessarily important right then and be happy for them when they walk in the door!

Focus on the one thing that would make their arrival home happy and forget the rest! Come on! The key to laziness is that you are doing the MINIMUM you need to do... so get lazy! Ask your man and focus on doing that one thing and forget all the rest of the stuff that apparently doesn't matter to him!

Leave a comment if you think you might be willing to take this challenge... and then let us know how it goes!

LM1

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Lazy Mom Tip #4

A couple of days ago I drove past a great Mexican restaurant that is just a few blocks from our house that we love to eat at on occasion. As I was driving by I noticed that the sign said, "Kids Eat Free on Sundays!"

Hmmm.... Follow my train of thought here... Lazy Moms don't always have time to cook. Lazy Moms don't always want to cook. I was suddenly inspired to write this tip!

Sooooo, I'm sure you can guess where my Lazy Mom Tip for today is headed.

Lazy Mom Tip #4 is - find all the "kids eat free" restaurants you can eat at in your area!

I know in our MOPS group last year we had lots of moms inquire about how to find these restaurants. Surely there's some place you can go and find a list of them, right?

Well, I did some research and found this. KidsEatFree.com. Simply click on your state and up pops a list of restaurants that will feed your kids FOR FREE! Isn't this a good tip?!

It looks like this website is fairly new because there weren't a ton of restaurants listed, but there were some! Then I noticed on the left hand column that you can "submit a restaurant" to their list. I submitted my recent find, and it was super easy to do! They even put a yellow pages link so you can get the correct information.

So go forth and find restaurants in your area and then submit new ones that you discover!


LM1

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Canceling Classes For Today...

I homeschool.

But not today.

That's the beauty of homeschool.

I can decide to skip a day if I want to.

That's my decision today.

My Girl is currently bawling her eyes out because I asked her to sing at an appropriate level for the indoors (i.e. not at the top of her lungs). Apparently that wasn't what she wanted to hear. How could I have been so rude in my request!

I made the monumental decision to skip school for today and instead wash her leotard for her first dance class this afternoon. I think I'm going to have her lay on the couch and watch movies till we leave in 2 1/2 hours. That's ok to do, right?

School won't be fun if we start it in this frame of mind. I want her to think of learning as a fun thing to do, not something that causes mommy to go gray and insane before I even turn 30.

Besides, last night I started a really great book but literally fell asleep reading it because I was so tired. I want to read that instead of doing school. That's a good enough reason to cancel classes for the day, right? I skipped classes in college for reasons far more minor than that. What's one day in the grand scheme of life. Nothing really. It's 3 year old preschool for crying out loud. She'd much rather play Barbies anyway....

Ok, I'll be honest... I just want to read. I need to wash her leotard and yes, she is still bawling, but the real reason I'm canceling school today is so I can read. What's it to you anyway?

LM2

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Hilarious!

I was emailed this from a Lazy Mom friend of mine in Upstate New York. It is stinking hilarious! Make sure you're sound is up before you hit play because it launches into it right away.

So what is it, you ask?

It's a clip of everything a mom says in 24 hours condensed to 2 minutes and 55 seconds and sung to the William Tell Overture. Every mom does this same "song" - just probably not quite this fast...

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Isn't that great? She must be a Lazy Mom like the rest of us!

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Confession from a Lazy Mom

A couple of days ago I posted a great Lazy Mom Tip from my wonderful friend that is moving to China. She is leaving very soon on an airplane to fly waaaaay over there with her 16 month old Little Darling. Knowing how long the flight over to China is and how hard that's going to be on her LD this is what she said when I answered the phone:

Anonymous Lazy Mom: "I need some advice on how to knock a kid out..."

[hysteric laugher on my end of the phone]

ALM: "...and you can totally post this confession on your lazy mom site!"

[squeals of delight (mixed with evil laughter) from me]

LM1: "You know I will!!!"

ALM: "So I asked my doctor about what to do with my LD. He said to try Benadryl, but to give it a test run before we go. So I did and it didn't work. Instead of knocking my LD out, it made her crazy."

LM1: "Yeah. I've heard of it doing that."

ALM: "Soooo, you've given your kids Dramamine, right?"

LM1: "Absolutley. I highly recommend it."

[From here the conversation proceeds to how to administer the dosage for her LD]

ALM: "You know, I swore I would never be one of those parents that did this to my child."

LM1: "Yeah. When protable DVD players came out my husband and I swore we would never be the type of parents that would buy one of those and let our children watch TV in the car... and then came a 20 hour drive to Texas. I begged my mom to buy us one for the drive back!"


LM1

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I Believe In God.

Today my dear friend emailed me about this post she read on a blog. I understand if you don't have time to read it. It's kind of long anyway and all you really need to know is the very first sentence: "I don't believe in God."

The reason my friend emailed me about it is because she wanted to leave a comment for this person but wasn't sure where to begin.

When I read the post it broke my heart. My 6 year old Little Darling was standing by me. Just yesterday during our Bible time I was explaining his new memory verse to him... "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6.

Part of my explanation of this verse involved telling him that to be saved you have to believe in Jesus. He interrupted me and said matter of fact, "I believe in God." So after reading this persons post about not believing in God I thought, "Okay, teachable moment here."

So I read the first sentence of the blog post to him and explained to him that this person doesn't believe in God and doesn't know how real He is. I also read him the comment I posted. He didn't really respond with anything.

About 30 minutes later my LD and I were having lunch. I asked him to please say the prayer. This is what he said...

"Dear Jesus. Thank you for this day. Thank you for this food. I pray for that lady that doesn't believe in God, that she would believe in you. In Jesus Name, Amen."

Tears sprang to my eyes. My heart was suddenly filled with a mix of emotions: I was so proud of my son's heartfelt prayer and yet blown away by the precious child-like faith displayed before me. My heart cried out to God, "Please Father. How could you not answer his precious prayer for this woman."

So to all you LM's out there (including me). Remember what's important. It isn't the pile of laundry growing by leaps and bounds in your basement. It isn't the dirty dishes sitting in the sink. It doesn't matter if you haven't made your bed in a week. And who cares if you haven't made a homemade meal in months. What's important is what you are teaching your kids. I haven't "arrived" by any means. I'm just saying to you and to myself, let's teach our kids about how real God is. That He has a purpose for their lives and that he's given them all the gifts and talents that they need to accomplish that purpose.

LM1

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I'm an Oxy Moron

I realized I spent the whole day yesterday being an oxymoron. I was wearing this:

Please note the light stain to the left of the "O." It's hard to see in this picture, but it's there.

Yeah. I'm thinking I should trade my Super Mom shirt in for this one:

It's WAY more believable!

LM1

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Lazy Mom Tip #3

I got a great tip from one of my oldest and dearest friends. So today's tip is from a Guest Lazy Mom! She is in the process of moving to China and has a great solution for organizing necessities when you are staying with someone else for a while.

"I have MAJOR space issues here at my parents house and needed a solution for organizing diapers and all the accruements that go along with an LD in diapers (rash cream, petroleum, thermometer, thermometer covers, etc.) So here’s my (rather ingenious) solution – a cheap, over the door shoe hanger. The pockets are usually stuffed with diapers but as you can see from the picture below it’s almost time to go shopping! I also use a couple pockets for important magazine clippings, mail that needs attention, and hair bows for LD. One pocket even keeps my Bible so it’s always where I can get to it for those early morning quiet times where I wouldn’t be able to search for it otherwise.

So I guess the real beauty in this tip is even if you don’t have a little one in diapers you can find lots of great uses for an over-the-door shoe hanger in any room of the house!"

Isn't that a great tip for those of us that have space issues? I say Lazy Moms turn into clever moms out of shear necessity!

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Sick.

Normally I would be at church on a Sunday morning and not sitting here at my computer writing up a post, but this morning things changed at the last minute.

Last night my Little Darling that had refused to change his clothes for two days in a row (see my confession below if you missed that story) informed me that his tummy hurt right before bedtime. As a mother of three children I hear about tummy aches more than a GI Doctor, so I didn't think much of it. Although this is the same LD that threw up all over our car during our recent road trip to visit my husband's family... hmmm....

Anyway, I sent him off to bed with a pat on the bottom and headed to bed myself until I was awoken this morning with him standing beside me saying, "Mooom, my tummy hurts." I groggily realized that my husband had already left for church (he's a Pastor, he has to get there early) and told my LD to climb into bed with me.

I snoozed in-between hearing small whispers of a four year old boy playing superhero with his hands above his head and the bed jerking from time to time because of it. Then I drifted off to sleep again after I heard him scamper out of the room.

"Mooooom." Did I hear my name being paged? I was so tired. Surely I didn't hear anything.
"Mooooom." There it was again. No mistaking it now. I rolled over and saw a sliver of light from under the bathroom door. Ugh. What now?

I walked into the bathroom and found my LD sitting on the potty with what appeared to be diarrhea in his pants and all over his legs.

"Did you poo-poo in your pants, honey?"
"Noooo. I threw up."
Oh good. Even better.
I lifted him up to discover a host of what I formally accused him of in the potty behind him. Geez. It was coming out both ends. BLAH.

The clean up began and I tossed him in the bathtub. After everything was taken care of and the bathroom sanitized I rolled back in to bed and picked up the cordless phone to dial my husband's cell phone. I informed him we wouldn't be at church today.

Then I crawled back to my side of the bed and leaned vicariously off the edge to check on my LD in the bathtub. He's playing and seems better. Good. Time to read a book.



LM1

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Confession Time Again?!

Geez, this is getting sad! I have WAY to many confessions to share. Maybe I should just keep them to myself? But then all of you wonderful mothers out there that feel like you can't share your deep dark mom secrets won't have anyone to share them with! Plus I must make you all feel better about being a mom, right? I always feel better when I read about some other moms mishaps and laziness. It makes me feel more normal. That's why I've suggested the Lazy Mom books that are in the column to the right -->

Anyway! Back to my confession....

Today I realized as I was getting one of my Little Darlings out of the car that they were wearing the same clothes they had worn yesterday. Hmmm...

I suddenly had a flashback to last night and recalled that it wasn't worth the fight to get him out of those clothes and in to pajamas. And then I remembered that I told him he could sleep in his clothes.

So my confession is that my LD has been wearing the same clothes two days in a row and he slept in them last night. Uh-huh. It wouldn't be so bad if this was the first time it's happened, but sadly, it isn't. And it wouldn't be so bad if two days was the longest he had gone before, but sadly, it isn't. I think his personal best is three days in a row. It's a shame. I know.

But in my defense, how many mothers out there will agree with me that some things just aren't worth the fight?! Anyone? Anyone? Someone!!!


LM1

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Homeschooling the LazyMom Way

Last winter I was pregnant and expecting another Ball of fun to arrive in June, so I decided that with a babe on the way and me being a lazy mom, I needed to get rid of the older babe a few mornings a week to maintain my sanity. I began to check into preschools in the area. The local Christian school had one, but at $3000+ a semester FOR PRESCHOOL!!!!!, The Music Man and I decided to pursue other options.

Well, as it turns out I lost the Ball of fun we were expecting, and then another... (I know---TRAGIC! and it was-very much so, but that's a story for another time... maybe.) I kinda forgot about my idea of needing a few mornings alone each week. I was instead looking foreward to having My Girl home with me all the time... Until this summer, when My Girl began to get on my nerves. I realized that it was pure boredom, so we threw ourselves into every summer activity that we could find--pool days, beach days, play groups, free movies, visits to the park, play dates, etc.

We were blissfully happy, but I knew that come fall we'd have to head back indoors and then what would I do with her? It was then that I began to seriously consider doing preschool at home with her. Actually I kinda just decided it one morning, told The Music Man, and then started buying workbooks and what-not the next day. A girlfriend of mine loaned me her copy of what she called, the homeschool Bible. It gave me a perspective of what homeschooling can be like and I whole-heartedly agreed with the method of learning it outlined.

August came and went. Seriously! I have no idea where August went to. I must have lived through it, but I have no recollection of it. I have pictures, but they seem so much like a dream to me that I'm not sure anymore if it wasn't all just a dream anyway. Labor Day came and the next day we began preschool. It was... Wow!!... I don't quite know how to explain it other than this...

One of the things I had planned to do with My Girl was to create a collage of jobs. (Our theme last week was jobs.) Yeah--that did not happen. Just the thought of cutting out pictures from magazines and then having to glue them to construction paper was about more than I could handle. It would mean that there would be little scrapes of paper everywhere, not even to mention the mess that may be found with the combination of glue stick and 3 year old!

I know you're all thinking, what a dreadful mom to deprive her daughter of such a delightful project. Yeah! I want to see you preschool your very active and very, very eager 3 year old and have better results. Perhaps we'll do the collage thing another time. I truly believe that it will be a fun activity and not as stressful as it seemed this past week, but we need some time to adjust to one another and to the idea of school. So until then, I have instituted a NO GLUE STICKS rule at the B.R. Academy for the Gifted and Talented.

I'll keep you posted on the progress of this new rule. Next week, we tackle the controversial subject of apples. Hmmm... we'll be going to an orchard, making applesauce and apple juice, eating apples, and reading books about apples like this one...

Believe it or not, but I am actually looking forward to another week of school. I know. I know. Much more of that kind of talk and I put myself at risk for losing my LazyMom Status. But I promise you I am very much a LazyMom. In fact, as I type, My Girl is watching Peter Pan for the second time this afternoon. There! See? I'm still lazy!

LM2

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Another Great Website....

Ok, so I may be a lazy mom, but that doesn't mean I don't my family to eat fast food and junk for every meal. That's why I try to always have on hand healthy and yummy snacks to munch on. (We're a house that grazes throughout the day. Hey! Being lazy really works up an appetite.) I buy as much natural, organic food as my budget will allow. I have found that it is most definitely worth the investment.

Sooo... I saw this link in my most recent issue of Better Homes and Gardens. It is localharvest.com. Their tag line is "real food. real farmers. real community." And isn't that what it's all about anyway? You can find local growers and stores in your area that sell organic food. In addition there are recipes, forums, and all sorts of other great things.

So take some time to invest in your families' healthy future and the future of your local community. Find a farm, farmers market, or co-op near you. It will be worth the slight increase to your grocery bill each month!

LM2

PS. Oh, I forgot to mention that you can find local honey through this website. If you or someone you love suffers from seasonal allergies, local honey can be the cure. It's made from bees that feast locally (and that's the key word here) on the stuff you're allergic too. Eating their honey helps to build up immunities to it. So forget about being Clariton-clear and get honey-clear!

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I'm In Love!

A couple of days ago a lady from my church emailed me and told me to check out a really cool website. I was totally curious to see what it was all about, so I checked it out right away. This is what I saw. Flip through the pictures and look at each one! I especially loved these ones:

Aren't those so cool?! I totally want that last one to put over my laundry chute door!
So you may be wondering what on earth this has to do with being a lazy mom. Well.... what better way for a lazy mom to decorate and make her house look super cool with something as easy as these wall expressions that you just stick on your walls? This is a great lazy mom way to decorate for sure!
Check out sp.sp.uppercaseliving.net for further information.
LM1

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Confession Time

*Ahem*
Attention Everyone! It's time for a lazy mom confession. This one is sadly from me. blah.

Are you ready?

Really ready?

Okay. Here it goes...

Sometimes when my Little Darlings are driving me crazy, I strap them into the car so they can't move and I drive around for a while until I have my sanity back.

There. I said it.

So make me feel better everyone... what are some of your lazy mom confessions?


LM1

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Lazy Mom Tip #2

Time for another Lazy Mom Tip! This one is a good one, so get ready!

Several years ago, while in search of a good way to store wet bath toys, I came up with a great idea. Why not throw them all into a milk crate and let them sit in the tub until they're dry?

I'll go ahead and admit it for you... It was another brilliant moment on my part. I know.

And then, I came up with another use for the milk crate... after dumping all the toys out into the bathtub, I flipped it upside down and sat on it like a stool while I lathered the kids up! Isn't that cool?! But make sure it's one of those really good sturdy milk crates. The cheapie type ones will buckle under you. Unfortunately I know this from experience.

I loved this snazzy idea so much that I decided to expand it not only to bath toys, but also to beach toys and pool toys! (Doesn't this just keep getting better?!)

The great thing with the beach toys and pool toys is that when the toys get all sandy and gritty, you just throw them in the milk crate, walk it over to the water and give it a good swishy-swish and voila'! The toys are nice and clean!

So there you have it. Lazy Mom Tip #2.

Priceless.

LM1

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Conversations Between Lazy Moms

Earlier this morning...

LM1's Husband (LD1): Hullo.

LM2: If I'm a true LM then why am I homeschooling my 3 year old?

LD1:  Hahahaha...

LM2:  Seriously!  Was I crazy?  I'm too lazy for this.

LD1:  Hahahahaha!

LM2: Where's your wife?

LD2: (muffled in the background, speaking to LM1) It's your counterpart and she want to know why a LM would homeschool a 3 year old.

LM1:  (filled with sympathy) Hi.  What's going on?

LM2: I must be some sort of crazy to think that I could handle homeschool preschool with my 3 year old.  I've been at it for 20 minutes and I'm now hiding in my room from my 3 year old.

LM1: Hahahaha....

LM2:  She kept saying that Baby needed to try it, Baby wanted a turn to write, Baby needed a sticker.

LM1:  So what are you working on?

LM2:  Numbers.  And I think I'm ready to quit.  I'm way too lazy for this!

LM1:  I know what you mean.  I start tomorrow with Little Darling #1.

LM2:  Yeah but he's starting Kindergarten.  He's been in preschool for 2 years.  He know what school is all about.  We are too lazy to homeschool our kids.

LM1:  But we are.  

(Followed by peals of laughter by both LMs)

LM2:  We must be crazy.

LM1:  I know, but I cannot wait to read about this day tomorrow on your blog.

LM2:  Hahaha... That is IF I make it to tomorrow.

LM1: I have to be at a MOPS meeting in 8 minutes and I just woke up.  I'm going to be 20 minutes late.

LM2:  It's alright.  You're a lazy mom.

LM1:  I know but I hate to be late.

LM2:  Girl, you need to get lazy!

LM1:  I know.

LM2:  Just blame it on the kids.  When you get there just look frazzled (that shouldn't be hard) and all you have to say is "sorry I'm late.  My kids...."  Let the sentence run off and I guarantee that every other mom there will smile knowingly, bow their heads in honor of your bravery, and nod their heads in agreement of the struggles that are motherhood.

LM1:  Hahahahaha... You're so right.  They totally will.  I'm so using that card today!

LM2:  Ok, well call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes with Darling #1.

LM1:  Ok.

LM2:  Alright, I have to go.  I have a young mind to mold and shape.  I have to go.  

LM1:  Hahaha... Good luck with that.

LM2:  Thanks.  I'll need it!  Talk to you tomorrow.

LM1: Bye.

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Invaded!

My daughter.
What can I say?

She loves anything little.

She loves to line those little things up.

She loves to play in my room (where she is not supposed to).

:::sigh:::

My daughter....

My bedroom window sill...

Her little army...

Standing to attention (please take note of how she has meticulously wrapped them around the corner)....

Bashful, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Doc flanked by Belle's wedding dress and whipped cream with a cherry on top. I think Grumpy is a bit ticked that Bashful won't stop looking at his bum. I know I would be!....

Here's The Handsome Prince introducing Tinkerbell and Mr. Thomas/Tumnus (from Narnia), while Snow White tries to keep Dopey from burning Mr. Thomas. Then there's Cinderella, who borrowed Belle's dress and is hoping Snow White won't say anything to Belle about it.

Nona and Petunia (from VeggieTales' Duke and the Great Pie War) are stuck in the corner with a inebriated-looking Happy and an allergic Sneezy. (Off the the left you'll find Belle's pink dress. Cindy, tried it on, but felt that the yellow one brought out the highlights in her hair better.)
And finally Prince (formerly The Beast) is casually conversing with Duke Duke and Bob about the nice piece of horse flesh to his left. (You'll also be sure to notice another of Belle's dresses discarded by Cindy. This one her wedding gown.)

Oh, and see the pink mini-van? All of these little things were stuffed into it before they were lined up along my window sill.

LM2

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