5.31.2009

Lazy Mom Tip #21

I just HAD to share with you fellow lazymoms my latest stroke of genius. Be prepared to be blown away here... seriously. It's goo-OOd.

As I'm sure most of you moms can attest to as well, my children are non-stop askers for snacks. Let me stress the words NON and STOP. Can I get a witness??

With three days of school left in the school year, I've been trying to think of some good ideas for ways to keep my kids busy this summer, but also keep MY sanity this summer! The first obstacle to my "summer sanity" that I knew I had to tackle was the non-stop-asking-for-snacks thing. I'm pleased to announce that I came up with a good one! And yes, I'm aware that I'm incredibly humble. It's something I have to live with daily.

BEHOLD.... Lazy Mom Tip #21....

The Snack Bin!


Now before you all start breaking out into applause and mailing me gift certificates for outrageous amounts of money to my favorite restaurants, let me tell you a little bit about my snack bin.

*Ahem*

You could obviously buy prepackaged items, but to save on money, LazyDad and I, bought large amounts of snacks from Sam's Club and Walmart and then filled snack size ziploc bags with it. My plan is to refill it once a week. It took about 30 minutes to fill this tub full of goodies.

On the side of the bin I have magnets of fresh fruits or veggies they can also choose as a snack. My bin is metal, so this works. If you choose a plastic bin, this won't work. [Just trying to make it plain. I know you would have NEVER figured that out on your own. Your welcome.] So for this week, I currently have apples and bananas on hand, so those are the two magnets I put on the bin. Got it? Good.

Another thing I want to point out... just because this is a snack bin, does NOT mean that my little darlings can just run and get something out of it whenever they want. They still have to ask me. Otherwise, the thing would be cleaned out in ONE. DAY. Plus, lots of times they want a snack right before dinner and I want them to wait until dinner to eat. So there.

Wondering what to fill your bin with? Here's what I have:
  • Cheeze-its
  • pretzels
  • raisins
  • popped popcorn
  • Gold Fish
  • granola bars
  • Animal Crackers
  • dry cereal

Feel free to leave a comment if you have any good snack ideas that you are going to put in your lazymom snack bin!


LONG LIVE THE LAZYMOM SNACK BIN!!!


LM1

5.13.2009

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
*
Romance 9.5 and
*
Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs
, such as

*
NBA 5.0,
*
NFL 3.0 and
*
Golf Clubs 4.1

Conversation 8.0
no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

*
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind,
*
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
*
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
*
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
*
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,
D0 NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re
- install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
*
Cooking 3.0 and
*
Hot Lingerie 7.7..

Good Luck!

Tech Support

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