Sorry, I do believe that title could be a "before and after" clue on Wheel of Fortune.
But anyway, not too long ago I posted about my sweet friend that is about to become a first time mommy. I seem to recall asking all you lazy moms out there to go leave her your best new mom advice on her really fun blog, which I'm pretty sure none of you did.
Well, don't worry. You now have another chance to redeem yourselves in my eyes.
Here, live and in person (well, she's not actually LIVE, but she's in person) Abigail is guest posting for me while I'm gone away with The Lazy Dad for our 10 year Anniversary (which is today). Since he and I are busy gazing into each others eyes, you should sit back and enjoy your time with her - the only person in the world who likes using parenthesis more than I do. (And leave her some new mom advice at the end of this post!)
Heeeeeeeeeeere's ABI! (Although she doesn't really go by that name)....
--
In one week medical science says that the baby in my tummy is "due". We'll see about that! I, for one would be perfectly happy if that baby decided to make his appearance early. Actually, if I was going to be perfectly honest, then I'd have to admit that what I'd really like is for the baby and I to sit down with my calendar (I don't think he has one yet) and decide on a really convenient time and place for me to go into labor. For instance, I don't have anything scheduled for next Tuesday just yet. How about Tuesday at, saaaay, 8 am after a good nights sleep and maybe a little breakfast? Doesn't that sound like a good plan? Looking forward to it! Can't wait to get together!
Ahhhh! If only, right?! Sadly my uptight, over-planning nature will probably have to be the first thing to go once I have a child. I know I will have to learn a lot before I can pin on my Lazy Mom badge, but in preparation I've done one thing to train...I've become a Lazy Housewife.
When I first got married I was not a Lazy Housewife. During my first year of marriage I threw several parties. When these events were planned I would put it on the calendar and block off a huge chunk of time for "preparation".
Preparation included cleaning the house from top to bottom, (because you NEVER KNOW, your guest might get turned around in your giant 2 bedroom apartment and end up in your hall closet...and if that were to happen, they would need to see that your towels were color coordinated.) followed by an intense menu planning (cornish game hen, anyone?!), followed by a long trip to the grocery store (or two...because that first store doesn't HAVE the special cheese that you want to garnish the top of your salads), followed by an afternoon/evening of cooking....and then the decorating (no table is complete without a flower arrangement). The table MUST be set before the guests arrive (!!) and the food must be in that mythical state of "perfectly ready" so that its not cold when its put on the table, and yet HEAVEN FORBID your guests have to wait for something to come out of the oven....
So you can imagine that entertaining in our house was a BIG OL' DEAL and while I enjoyed it, I obviously didn't have the luxury to do it all the time, because lets be honest not many people have whole DAYS set aside for party planning purposes. Which is how I slowly but surely converted to being a Lazy Housewife.
Lazy Housewifery looks like this...
On Friday I was throwing a 30th Birthday party for a friend at my house. Around 10am that morning I got a phone call inviting me to a craft lunch (score! free lunch AND learn how to make cute earrings?!? I'm there!)...and no worries I would STILL be able to plan the party afterwards....
At around 11am I got a call from a friend who recently had a baby, "Could she come over and visit for a little while in the afternoon? She was getting stir crazy at home." Perfect! I'd just be finishing up my earrings and then I could run home to let in my visitors (I went ahead and invited another new mom over for good measure) and then I'd still have several hours before the party....plenty of time to get ready!
And that's how slowly, any "fancy" plans I had, instead became me starting a grocery list for the party at around 4:30pm (party starts at 7pm), throwing together a cake mix (because for the life of me they taste better than homemade) at 5pm, putting it out to cool while I headed to the store to pick up some paper plates (because I'm not doing the dishes!) and some chips (because I'm not making any "before dinner cocktails") and sending my husband to pick up pizzas (because I'm not standing over a hot stove!)
The point of this story is that I have learned that if PEOPLE are the priority of entertaining (which I kinda think they are), than its SO MUCH better to throw down the paper plates rather than get out the fancy china and use that extra dishwashing energy to spend some time with some new moms or a lonely neighbor.
I'm thinking motherhood is going to be similar....So, before I go making equally over-the-top Mom Mistakes as I strive to "get it right", feel free to drop off your infant equivalent to getting out the paper plates so that I can focus on the REAL priority...raising a happy, healthy, responsible kid. (This means leave me some good Lazy Mom Baby Tips, people!!)
~ Abigail
--
And I think you ALL should go do that right this very little minute! Find the comments link below and leave this sweet lazy-mom-in-waiting your best new mom advice and tips!
Who knows... maybe the best advice left will win a prize?!?!?!
I cook meals that take very few dishes to make. Then I rinse the dishes completely after dinner and let them sit until baby is asleep...or a couple days later when I need those dishes again...or when my MIL comes over and asks if I'd like her to do the dishes...you know.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a big list maker. I make a list each week of what needs to be done. (I mean, NEEDS) Then I just cross it off over the week when I have free time, or baby decides he'd like nothing better than to sit in his bouncy chair and chew on his mirror.
Get a wrap, like a moby wrap or a maya wrap. And use it! Then baby will sleep soundly and you can get stuff done...or sit at your computer and leave advice for other moms. And when baby wakes, more often he'll look at you, see you're still there, and drift off again. I did this the first 2-3 months and have had no problem weaning him to his crib, since he sleeps there at night anyways. And when he was awake, I played with him and sang and stimulated him. Except at night. When he was awake then I left the lights off, sang lullabies, and walked him. I'd love to report that he's doing great and sleeping through the night, but as I struggle to keep my eyes open, well...it'd be a lie.
"Yes, that would be great!" That's your answer if anyone asks if there's anything they can do to help. Still learning that one...which reminds me, I need to call my MIL and tell her yes, I'd love if she took baby for a couple hours so I can sleep. (rough night last night...*sigh*)
You have easy meals frozen, right? and frozen veggies? And you have your kitchen stocked with non-perishable "meals"? (think cans of soup, ramen, mac and cheese, canned fruit) I know that stuff isn't the healthiest, but when choosing between cooking something healthy or not eating, I usually chose to not eat during the early months. Which reminds me, I need to get up and go reheat some lunch...
Forget about cleaning the house, doing the dishes, and all that other stuff... when that baby naps, you should NAP too! Moms don't get enough sleep as it is and it can make us short tempered. A happier mom means a happier baby so take advantage of any sleeping moments to rest. Other people can worry about the other stuff.
ReplyDeleteI am, too, a lover of the parenthesis! My best piece of advice (and I pimp it out to anyone who will listen) is Nutramigen. If you are going to formula feed this is the one to use. It is kind of pricey but it took a 3 month long colicy Haylee from constant pain and crying to a happy go lucky, brand new tiny person in one feeding! It is so worth it and you can usually get samples from your pediatrician.
ReplyDeleteYou need to go to my blog, click on the Long Walks/Talks tab, and read about the birth of our youngest. I think you will like it!
ReplyDeletewww.walkingtheoff-beatenpath.blogspot.com
Words of advice? Don't rush any of it. He will do everything, including arriving, on his own time and schedule. As for walking and talking....well....we wait for a whole year in anticipation of these two events, and then we spend the next 19 or so telling them to sit down and be quiet. Moderation in everything. Listen and smile to what everyone tells you, then REALLY listen to your heart and inner voice. That is where most of your wisdom will come. It all starts the first time you two look into each others eyes! Good Luck!
Oh, and I recently started putting my Little Guy in his bouncy chair (now that he likes it) and putting it in the bathroom so I can take a bath more than once a week! I took a nice relaxing bath today while he chewed on his mirror and hit his rattle. And when he'd get minor fussy, I was there to talk to him or play music on his toy, so I wasn't stressed as I was soaking wet and he was in another room.
ReplyDeleteMy best advice is to let you know that one day, when you are completely exhausted, and haven't showered in days, and haven't slept, and smell like sour milk, and the baby won't stop crying....it is absolutely okay for you to put the baby in his crib for 15 minutes while you regroup, take a deep breath, and wash your face. The crib is safe. You are not a bad mom for needing a 15 minute break (even if the baby cries the entire time).
ReplyDeleteI just saw this post and thought I'd throw my two cents in...
ReplyDelete#1 Take time to be present. Enjoy your child. The days pass quickly and they grow up so fast. One day your child is going to do something or say something, and you're going to look at them in awe and say "when and where is the heck did you learn that???"
#2 Hug and kiss your child all the time, let them know they are loved more than all else.
#3 You need ME time. You really, really do. Go to lunch with a friend, get a pedicure, go for a walk, anything that gets you time to regroup and feel human again.
#4 Take any and all help that is offered. It's pretty much a guarantee that you trust the people offering help, so let them.
#5 The dishes can wait. Go play with your child.
#6 I totally agree with the above comment - if you need to walk away for a minute, do it. Place your child in the crib, swing, etc, and walk outside, clear your head, take a moment to breathe.
Good luck!!!!!
I know this is late, but what can I say - I'm a lazy mom (with 3 kids - one just over a month old!)
ReplyDeleteHere's my best advice:
#1. Babies bounce. Seriously. They are much sturdier than we think. You'll first notice this when the doctor and nurse slaps them around after they're born and you think *Wait! Stop that! That's my fragile newborn!* Nope. They can take a lot. I'm not talking abuse, of course, but they will accidentally fall, get stitches, cry when you're too tired to pick them up - and they will survive it all!!!
#2. Two words - MIRACLE BLANKET. Even my skeptic husband, who first laughed at the name, is now a believer!
#3. When he gets a little bigger, buy the book "Super Baby Food" by Ruth Yaron. Heck, run out and buy it now! It was given to me by a pediatrician. It is awesome. I've used it for 4 years now and still read it in the bathroom for ideas even for my preschoolers.
#4. Paper plates, plastic forks and spoons. I think Stacey blogged about this when she had her gallbladder surgery. Awesome advice.
#5. Many people have already said this - 4 words.... "YES YOU CAN HELP." And not just "hold the baby" help, but serious "mop the floor, do the laundry, pick up the living room, make a meal" help.
#6. Put the lactation consultant's phone number on speed dial if you have to. They are here to help. Use them.
#7. YOU are the momma. You and daddy know best for YOUR child. PERIOD.
#8. Use the answering machine.
#9. The first few weeks you are hopped up on happiness and adrenaline. Don't overdo it because the worst is yet to come. And when the worst hits, call a good friend who has been through it. When i was bawling and at the end of my rope, Stacey talked me off the ledge with the simple words of "it will get better, i promise, you WILL sleep again!"
#10. Have fun. How great is it that you and Anna will have babies so close in age! They might be "kissing cousins!" :)
Shoot, I don't know how to leave comments with a different identity than my old blogger site that I don't use anymore! Anyway, this is Chana, in case you were wondering!
ReplyDeleteSorry for being late, but I don't think these ideas have been shared, yet.
ReplyDeleteFor the earliest days, I was given the following two pieces of advice, and I LOVED my neighbor for giving it to me.
1. If you are feeding the baby before laying them down to sleep, put a heating pad on their bed, while they eat, to keep it warm. Remove the pad, and they have a nice warm spot to snuggle into. Prior to this advice, I would get my dd to sleep only to have her wake up when I laid her down in her cool (sometimes COLD) bed.
2. If the baby wakes up in the night to be fed, only change diapers if they have pooped. Her point was this: When they are sleeping through the night, are you going to wake them to change their diaper? No. They will fall asleep much faster if the lights are low and you just feed them and lay them right back down.
As I love my sleep, I was very happy for this advice that helped all my babies sleep through the night at an early age. Hope this advice helps you, too.