So yesterday the Lazy Dad texted me and asked me if I wanted to grab some lunch with him.
I texted him back, "Who is this? Stop asking me out! My husband will hunt you down and hurt you."
He didn't respond.
He probably thought I had officially lost it.
So I texted him back after a little while and said, "Okay. I'll go."
So we went.
Isn't that a great story? But wait. It gets better.
When we were seated at the restaurant he says to me, "Hey. You didn't get your toothbrush out of the trash can this morning did you?"
Making a really weird face I said a very eloquent, "Huh?"
"Did you get your toothbrush out of the trash can this morning?"
"Um, nooooo."
"Good, don't use it."
"Um, why would I get my toothbrush out of the trash can? Did it fall in there?"
"Oh it fell, but not in the trashcan."
Making another face I said, "It fell in the toilet didn't it?"
"Yes."
Another face, "And there was pee in the toilet wasn't there?"
"Yes."
About to gag, "And you fished it out and threw it away? With what?? Those fingers your about to eat with?!" A face of horror.
"Yes. But I washed them and Prefensed."
"Ewwww! See this is why I make the kids put the lid down on the toilet before they brush their teeth." Now my scolding face, because this isn't the first toothbrush we've lost to the too-close-to-the-sink-toilet.
"Yeah, yeah."
"But wait. Why on earth would you think I would have fished my toothbrush out of the trash can and brushed my teeth with it???"
He just laughs.
But seriously. What person goes, "Oh, there's my toothbrush in the trash can. I think I'll dig it out of there and get these teeth pearly white with it by golly!"
I mean, maybe, MAYBE if it landed on a clean piece of tissue at the tip top of the trash can??? Nah. Maybe not.
But here's the other thing. I was in such a hurry to shower and get dressed that I totally forgot to even brush my teeth before I rushed out of the house to meet him for lunch at the last minute. Thus, my ignorance over the AWOL toothbrush.
So he's totally gross for thinking I would use a toothbrush found in the trash can. And I'm totally gross for forgetting to brush my teeth before leaving the house.
So we'll just live together in our grossness.
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Have you done this lately?
LOL Oh my goodness this sounds like a conversation my hubby and I would have. We have had a few things lost to the toilet as well. With the help of a haz mat suit and a heavy duty garbage bag that is where the items have found their end.
ReplyDeleteso who is grosser? Is grosser a word?
ReplyDeleteWell, I forget to brush my teeth more than I should admit. I have 2 very little excuses (my small children), but still...gross.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Well better to have forgotten to brush your teeth than to have used the toothbrush out of the trashcan/toilet!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the time I knocked my college roommate's glasses in the pot. I never told her...
ReplyDeleteThat's SO funny! You crack me up!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It's awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteSo is living together in your grossness! At least you have fun together, right?!
iamthat-shawna.blogspot.com
shawna-mygirls.blogspot.com
Wow, can't say I ever forget to brush my teeth.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's a good thing that at least he threw your toothbrush away instead of just "rinsing" it off and putting it back, huh???
Yeah, and I hate how some guys like to leave the toilet unflushed.
Jen
Equality in Grossness is vital to the success of a marriage. it's scientifically proven.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny; in fact soeakig of toothbrushes, today my son dragged his new Hulk toothbrush thru the soccer field and when we got home, I just washed it and stuck it in his mouth before bed--like nothing had happened! Stop on over and visit me at www.warriormom.net (There the mood is usually lighthearted and funny, in a chaotic sort of way. (Have 5 Alpha Dogs) And, when I don't feel like being funny, I think I'm a philosopher.) Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteLMAO that is too funny.. so now he knows you did not brush your teeth...lol
ReplyDeletegross ... still funny
ReplyDeleteps. don't forget to buy a new toothbrush!
Lol. I shared that with my husband. Too funny! One time I had a book sitting on the back of the toilet that fell in prior to my husband's "visit." Needless to say he was unaware of it's presence and it didn't make it out alive!
ReplyDelete