I have a birthday coming up.
Let's just say I'm not happy about it.
Lazy Dad asked me the other day what I wanted for my birthday. I didn't even have to think about it, "NOT to turn another year older. THAT'S what I want for my birthday," I said.
So if you're wondering how old I'm going to turn I'm afraid you'll just have to guess, cause I'm not telling you.
If you guess a number between 32 and 34 you'd probably be dead on, but who can say for sure?
In other news I posted this beauty of a Twitter update last night. I felt it was one of my better ones, but it got a very mediocre response. Probably because I posted it in the evening and like NO ONE's on Twitter in the evening. So do me a favor, would you? If you thought that was funny, retweet it for me. I could use a moral boost. You know, since I'm turning some random number between 32 and 34 soon.
Also in Twitter news I've been really out of it lately.
Proof #1
Proof #2
Not sure what's going on there. Except that I am turning that random number between 32 and 34 soon. Do people lose their minds when they are some number between 32 and 34?
I also wanted to let you all know that lately I've been struggling over the "tone" of my blog posts. I'm afraid they come off really sarcastic. When in reality, they are supposed to be "light-heartedly" funny. There's a fine line between sarcastic and funny, isn't there? And I think I wobble on that line quite a bit.
There's also a fine line between funny and annoying. But that is one line I'm sure I NEVER cross. Not ever.
At any rate, I wish you could hear my tone of voice, see my face, hear my laughter as I write these bad boys. I literally giggle all the way through them. Well, except for today. I haven't giggled yet. I think it's because I'm depressed I'm turning some random number between... oh, you know.
So when you think to yourself, "Geez, she is so sarcastic. Does she even HAVE any joy?" Scratch that and think this instead, "Geez, she is so infectiously funny, even though she sometimes sounds sarcastic, she clearly has LOTS of joy." Mkay? It would make me feel better about my posts.
As a side note: Apparently I need a lot of affirmation today, have you noticed? Do people who turn some random number between 32 and 34 need a lot more affirmation suddenly?
And now, we end this blog post with this Public Service Announcement:
People who are about to turn some random age between 32 and 34 should be handled with great care. They may have unexpected crying jags, they may throw tantrums without notice, they may make whimpering noises in their sleep.This has been a Public Service Announcement.
If you find yourself near a person who is about to turn some random number between 32 and 34 proceed with caution. Don't make sudden movements and make as little eye contact as you can. Saying things like, "You're so pretty," "You haven't aged a day over 21," "How do you stay so THIN," will increase your odds of making it out alive.
Sooooooo I am beginning to wonder how I should feel since my birthday is coming up too and I am going to be between the ages of 34-36. I think I should be concerned. I guess you should find joy in the fact that you are not as old as me and never will be. hahahahahahahaha And for being between the ages of 32 and 34 I daresay you look fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI actually didn't mind being that particular age. It's my birthday this year I'm dreading...because I'm going to be somewhere between 39 and 41...which is far worse. However, I've been telling myself all year (in order to keep from getting all depressed) that since I can't escape it (no matter how hard I try), I might as well make the most of it and try to enjoy it. I mean, I don't want anyone else to make a big deal out of it...that would be too embarrassing. I just want to pass into the next decade of my life quietly but a determination to continue to enjoy life. What I'd really like for my birthday this year is to do something amazingly cool...but we don't have enough money to do what I consider amazingly cool. In the end I still don't like the fact that I'm going to turn that random age between 39 and 40, but what can I do? Have fun on your birthday. In 7 years, you'll wish to be that age again! ; ) Btw, I love reading your posts and consider them to be funny and lighthearted and never annoying. You make me smile. : )
ReplyDeleteYou totally made me smile! Thanks. I really needed it this morning. And btw, that number between 32 and 34 isn't bad. I'll be there myself in a couple of years.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing worse than teetering on a number that you dislike!! So....here are some things you can tell yourself:
ReplyDelete1) I'm not as old as my mother
2) I'm not as old as my sister
3) I'm not as old as my brother
4) That means I'm the baby and I am always the youngest!
Hope this helps :)
Love,
Mom
I don't think your blog posts come off as being sarcastic. I think you have what my MIL says I have- a dry sense of humor. Maybe that's why I enjoy reading your blog so much because "I get it"!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about being somewhere between 32 and 34 years old. I'm way older than you, by nine years, but I'm not revealing my age. (This is where I would insert one of those working winking smiley faces, but I don't know how so just pretend it's there.)No worries- you have a great blog! And your tone is perfect to me. If anyone says anything negative then they just DON'T GET IT. Just sayin'!
Sigh - I just turned 55 last week and I look back upon your age as the good young days!! It's all relative.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!
Jen
P.S. I love sarcasm and I've never thought that you came across as annoying. You always amuse me!
jryder416 at yahoo dot com
but those double numbers are so great! double, divisible by 11, there is an evenness about their oddness.And thaat random number between 32 & 34 is bubbly & happy looking.
ReplyDeleteand you speak as if there is something negative/bad/wrong about sarcasm.
I will say, it a word my 17 yr old still can not say. It comes out something like 'scartasmic'. He has slight auditory processing problem so certain letter blends don;t compute with him. He could say 'street' until he was about 12. (it was sshcreet)
I am going to be 36 this year, just ask my 4yo, he likes to say. On my next birthday I will be 5, Wesley will be 3 on his birthday, Justin is going to be 1, and he can't open presents so Jack can help. Daddy is going to be 36, and you will be 36 right Mommy??? 36 on your next birthday? You are 35 right now, and then 36 comes next.
ReplyDeleteI was your biggest fan until I realized that you are ten years younger than I am. Now that I'm depressed, I can barely go on living as an "older" woman... ;-)
ReplyDeleteI happen to love the tone of your posts and that's why I stay around. Whether you call it sarcasm or a dry sense of humor, it works for me and I am on my knees begging you not to change a thing (now help me up off my knees, please).
HAHA! I am turning that random number on Valentines Day and I have cried every birthday since thirty.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, stop by my blog, I have an award for you and thanks for making me laugh!
So I have that to look forward to next year as well? Great....I am turning the "random number" between 31 and 33 next month and am having the same problem.
ReplyDeletecall it sarcastic, call it light hearted, I could care less, you make me LAUGH!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I'm going to be 35 this year. THIRTY-FIVE!!! We can sit together on our pity potty!
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend, you are looking at it all wrong! You aren't getting older, you're refining yourself. I am 46 this year. I have LOTS of grey hair (5 kids, 1 husband) and I earned every one....and survived it. I have SO MANY wrinkles....from all the times those 5 children + 1 husband have made me smile. My body may be softer and jigglier than in years past, but it's perfect for snuggling with my grandbaby. My heart is softer and my brain is sharper from the experiences I've had the past 46 years. I'm the BEST me I can be and getting better every year!!
ReplyDelete