How To Break News To Your Husband

'Member how I told you that I had called in the big guns to come clean my house on Friday for Party @ Pastor's? (which was a nice success by the way)

Well, let's just say the cleaning bill was more than I expected.

On account of me having to kick them out at two and a half hours.

Which I don't think any of us expected seeing that my house is a monopoly house in size and shape and yes, even color.

So yeah... cleaning bill... pricey.

And yeah... my house... apparently a filthy mess.

When I called Lazy Dad to tell him they had left he promptly asked me, "How much was the bill?"  To which I promptly replied, "I'm not telling you."

"How much was it?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Stacey, how much was it??"

"I'm not telling you."

I stick to my guns, people.  I wasn't going to tell him over the phone.  I'm not a stupid wife.  Anymore.

No instead, when he called on his way home to say he was bringing home steaks to grill out for dinner I had an idea.  A brilliant idea.

I ran down to the basement, found the tub that has our china in it, located the glasses we used at our wedding reception and set the dining room table with them.  Then set a candle, flowers, and try as I might, I could NOT find my nice tablecloth, on the table as well.

Then I quickly threw on a dress just for fun.  You know, with my hairy legs and my socks and my no make-up self and sashayed around the corner like a model.  Cause I am totally model-esque.

Pretty soon we were eating dinner together with the soft melodious sound of the kids watching cartoons in the background while eating their dinner at the coffee table behind us. 

We reminisced over our wedding china and our wedding glasses.  We talked about how good the steak was and how thoughtful it was of him to get me a skewer of shrimp to go with it....

Notice Lazy Dad talking on his cell phone? He's real romantic like that.

So... over this impromptu candlelight dinner, with me in an impromptu dress, I broke the news to him over how much the cleaning bill was for.

And it went well.  He didn't choke on his food, gasp, cry, shake or anything. 

However, he did climb up on the roof later and I thought he might jump.

But turns out he was just fixing something.

*crisis averted*

And therefore... this is my tutorial on how to break news to your husband.

The end.

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