Lazy Dad just started preaching a sermon series on the things that lurk inside our hearts. You know, the ugly stuff that's inside of us that we don't really want anyone to know about? Yeah, that stuff.
His sermon reminded me that as a parent, raising our kids to be great adults is really all about parenting the heart. Because what's inside a person's heart is who they really are. Everything a person does comes from their heart, so why aren't we more focused as parents on molding and shaping our kids' hearts? And how do we go about doing that?
Well first of all, we need to teach our kids that it's all about the heart by pointing out when it is! How can they know they have a "heart problem" if we aren't showing them when they do?
Often I say to my kids things like, "When you hit your brother just now, that showed me what's in your heart." Or, "when you made that ugly face behind my back, all that did was show me what's in your heart."
My kids will often argue with me when I point out their "heart issues." "But Mom!" they say, "he hit me first!" or, "He made me do it!"
"No, no one makes you do anything, you do what comes out of your heart."
When we start to point out heart issues, our kids will begin to understand that everything they do is from the heart. And that what's in our hearts is who we really are.
But hang on a second! It's not just about our kids' hearts here! It's also about OUR hearts. *ouch*
Just the other night we were doing a lesson with our son and we were talking about the heart. I used myself as an example of a heart issue by saying, "When I yell or get snippy with you, what is that really showing you about mommy? What's in my heart."
I think it's important that our kids see that mommy and daddy are also working on what's in their hearts as well. It's an ongoing process that takes a lot of work! Hearts don't get molded and shaped overnight, it takes a lifetime. That's why we should get a jump on it when our kids are young! So they can reap the benefits of it earlier than we may have!
The best book I've found on how to parent the heart is the Bible. It's full of stories of people that had "heart issues" and how they either molded them or didn't. And boy the stories really show the difference between the two!
But don't think that since the Bible is a great tool to parent the heart with that that means your church is the one who's responsible for teaching it to your children! Cause they aren't. And while we're on the subject, I've also noticed more and more schools teaching "character
development" in their classrooms as well. It's plain to see that a lot of parents
have relegated this important part of parenting off on someone else, but ultimately parenting the heart is our
responsibility.
What are some ways you parent your kids' heart issues? I always love hearing what you do! Leave a comment below to share with us.
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I have to say I absolutely love this post more than I can express. I have a special needs child who has sadly already had to face bullies (he is a 2nd grader) I have been so saddened to see that parents are not teaching their kids compassion, empathy, and acceptance for others. There is no heart being taught to these kids. My son has started getting early lessons of "heart" and emotions I have taught him it is a great way to show your character as well as see others characters just by what they show from their hearts! Bless you for this... honestly!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this today! What a great reminder and great advice!
ReplyDeleteDana@ Calverette Chronicles
http://calverettechronicles.blogspot.com/
I absolutely love this post. I think I will definitely be adding this to my repertoire of talking about "heart issues" with my kiddos. I love the way you explained it.
ReplyDelete@Denise: I absolutely HATE that at such a young age your son has had to deal with bullies already. That breaks my heart! I wish all kids had a mother like you to teach them about their heart. Unfortunately, children learn what they live so I imagine there is no one in their homes to teach them this. *sad*
ReplyDeletehow do I parent my children's hearts?
ReplyDeleteI guess homeschooling is my way of doing that. I don't call them on things like teasing as being a heart issue- good idea. But we go over those Bible Verses sometimes. (the ones that talk about your actions/words showing what s in you heart)
I think you just hit MY heart. We spend a lot of time with our 2 and 4 year old working on attitudes, and so often when the day is done and they are asleep I realize that my own attitude didn't help. We talk a lot about "showing love" here, "When you helped me with the door that showed me love" etc, and about how Jesus wants us to remember that showing love, being respectful, kindness are like showing our friends Him. But sometimes as parents I think for us at least we forget that by being patient, taking a breath before giving a lesson and remembering not to shout (my own struggle at times) is showing Jesus to our kids.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a reminder that it's also showing our hearts. I may just use that one :)
I love this post! And I love that you pointed people to the Bible as a great book to learn to parent the heart.
ReplyDelete