You know me, I gotta keep it real. I can't let you people assume things that just aren't true about me. I can't let you all put me on some pedestal like that. Besides, I don't like heights that don't have rails on it.
So. If you assumed that...
Especially about that last one. Never assume that EVER. Mkay? Some of those other ones I'll let slide, but not that last one.
And as for that perfect marriage, doesn't this picture LOOK like we have the perfect marriage? Don't we look all happy and like we never fight and like we only look at each other with love all the time every day?
Yeah. Not so much.
Don't get me wrong. Lazy Dad's a keeper, but there's sometimes we probably both wish we weren't the ones that has to do the keeping.
Did I ever tell you about that time that Lazy Dad and I went away and we were mad at each other the whole time? As in, wouldn't talk to each other. THE WHOLE TIME we were away.
It was pitiful.
Jenilee was there. She can attest that it was true.
But there were extenuating circumstances around that trip. Ones that I won't go into. But lets just say it involved a lot of outside stress. Like 14 months of it.
Anywho.
My point is, everything is not as it always appears. Facebook, blogs, pinterest... all portray a not so accurate picture of who we are. And I just can't have that. I must be realz.
So if the stories of Lazy Dad taking me on a Mystery Date and awaking me with delightful baked goods recently has you assuming we have a perfect marriage, then let this be a lesson to you.
We don't.
At all.
We argue with the best of them.
We annoy each other with the best of them.
We hurt each others feelings with the best of them.
We don't always get this thing called marriage right with the best of them.
Basically, whatever the best of them has done, I'm sure we've done it too.
Unless the best of them has all been to Hawaii. Now, that we haven't done. But we'd like to.
Anyway. The great thing about an imperfect marriage is that it helps whittle away a whole lot of that ugly, no-good, stingy little thing called "self." I thought I was a pretty self-less person till I got married. Something crazy happens after you say, "I do." A mirror gets held up to you and you see yourself for who you REALLY are.
*shudder*
And it ain't pretty.
Then. THEN. As if that wasn't enough! Children come along. And then you REALLY realize how self-less you aren't!
An even BIGGER mirror gets held up to you that shows things even deeper than the last mirror and you think to yourself, "Whoa. I really had no idea who I was on the inside."
(Please all testify with me that this is true. I'd hate to be the only one keeping it real today.)
Yes, marriage and children = post traumatic selfish disorder.
The good news is there's a cure for it!!
Just die to your self and you'll be all good.
*smile*
--
What would you say is the best marriage advice you've ever been given? I'd love to know! Leave a comment below, or join the conversation on my facebook page.
So. If you assumed that...
- I have a perfect marriage
- I'm still in my 20's
- I like to clean
- I don't like to eat.
- I wear makeup every day.
- I cook like a gourmet chef.
- My house is perfect.
- I'm so thin I'm practically a stick figure.
- I'm from Ohio
Especially about that last one. Never assume that EVER. Mkay? Some of those other ones I'll let slide, but not that last one.
And as for that perfect marriage, doesn't this picture LOOK like we have the perfect marriage? Don't we look all happy and like we never fight and like we only look at each other with love all the time every day?
Yeah. Not so much.
Don't get me wrong. Lazy Dad's a keeper, but there's sometimes we probably both wish we weren't the ones that has to do the keeping.
Did I ever tell you about that time that Lazy Dad and I went away and we were mad at each other the whole time? As in, wouldn't talk to each other. THE WHOLE TIME we were away.
It was pitiful.
Jenilee was there. She can attest that it was true.
But there were extenuating circumstances around that trip. Ones that I won't go into. But lets just say it involved a lot of outside stress. Like 14 months of it.
Anywho.
My point is, everything is not as it always appears. Facebook, blogs, pinterest... all portray a not so accurate picture of who we are. And I just can't have that. I must be realz.
So if the stories of Lazy Dad taking me on a Mystery Date and awaking me with delightful baked goods recently has you assuming we have a perfect marriage, then let this be a lesson to you.
We don't.
At all.
We argue with the best of them.
We annoy each other with the best of them.
We hurt each others feelings with the best of them.
We don't always get this thing called marriage right with the best of them.
Basically, whatever the best of them has done, I'm sure we've done it too.
Unless the best of them has all been to Hawaii. Now, that we haven't done. But we'd like to.
Anyway. The great thing about an imperfect marriage is that it helps whittle away a whole lot of that ugly, no-good, stingy little thing called "self." I thought I was a pretty self-less person till I got married. Something crazy happens after you say, "I do." A mirror gets held up to you and you see yourself for who you REALLY are.
*shudder*
And it ain't pretty.
Then. THEN. As if that wasn't enough! Children come along. And then you REALLY realize how self-less you aren't!
An even BIGGER mirror gets held up to you that shows things even deeper than the last mirror and you think to yourself, "Whoa. I really had no idea who I was on the inside."
(Please all testify with me that this is true. I'd hate to be the only one keeping it real today.)
Yes, marriage and children = post traumatic selfish disorder.
The good news is there's a cure for it!!
Just die to your self and you'll be all good.
*smile*
--
What would you say is the best marriage advice you've ever been given? I'd love to know! Leave a comment below, or join the conversation on my facebook page.
So I have ZERO marriage advice....that's why I read your blog! But um yeah, those mirrors stink :( I was the most caring giving person before all these people came along. I now hide "my" snacks so I don't have to share!!! Ssshhh, don't tell ;)
ReplyDeleteOH! Is THAT all we have to do?! lol And here I thought it would be something difficult! :P
ReplyDeleteDitto. I will offer some advise, that I don't really do myself, but take time to spend together without the kids. I really liked the book, "I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids."
ReplyDeleteMy friend has a plaque that says something like "We interrupt this marriage to raise children...." and wow, iis that ever true. Brian annd don't argue/disagree about money or.... eh-hemmm.... or anything... we mostly seem to just argue on parenting issues.
ReplyDeleteand we have b een to Hawaii. so get working on on that..
I really enjoyed that book too! http://www.imalazymom.com/2007/08/i-was-really-good-mom-before-i-had-kids.html
ReplyDeleteYou and your honesty are so awesome. I wish I had marriage advice that was good advice or not cliche'. Mostly, I think marriage is a lot of little things that add up every day. Kindness everyday. I think I should follow this advice :)
ReplyDeleteMy advice is: always be willing to say you're sorry first. Forgive your spouse even if he says he's not the one that needs forgiving;) Listen more than you talk. Practice what you preach. Try to see things from your spouse's perspective before you assume anything. (Some of these things are cliche but they are still true.) Definitely take time away from the kids, but also let your children see how in love you are - make sure they hear you say positive uplifting things TO your spouse and ABOUT your spouse when he isn't around. I think I'm done for now:)
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I silently lurk and read your blog, smiling only to myself. Today I just had to say thank you for posting some of the things here that many of us don't want to say out loud. I shook my head in agreeance all the way down through your post. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
ReplyDeletePS... I wouldn't want to be thought of as being from Ohio, either!! ROFL!! (Steelers fan here - from a little town right outside of Pittsburgh!)
No advice here, I have the most imperfect marriage there is! I think at some level we all feel that way about our marriage. But I bet none of us would tade our husbands either. It took me 11 years to train this one, I finally have him almost where I want him, so I the thought of having to go through all that again makes me shudder! Keep on keepin it real girl!
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice I ever got was from my father, he quoted the marriage vows "cleave only unto each other, forsaking all others" and explained that to him, it meant putting each other and your marriage first in all things. I think that was the one and only serious talk I ever had with my father and it made a deep impression on me, coming from a man who was married 44 years when he passed away....one month after my wedding.
ReplyDeleteI was there. It was pitiful. but, we've all been there. so not fun. But God is bigger and we all really do need to die to self and put others first. great post you Texan, you! :)
ReplyDelete