How To Break News To Your Husband

'Member how I told you that I had called in the big guns to come clean my house on Friday for Party @ Pastor's? (which was a nice success by the way)

Well, let's just say the cleaning bill was more than I expected.

On account of me having to kick them out at two and a half hours.

Which I don't think any of us expected seeing that my house is a monopoly house in size and shape and yes, even color.

So yeah... cleaning bill... pricey.

And yeah... my house... apparently a filthy mess.

When I called Lazy Dad to tell him they had left he promptly asked me, "How much was the bill?"  To which I promptly replied, "I'm not telling you."

"How much was it?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Stacey, how much was it??"

"I'm not telling you."

I stick to my guns, people.  I wasn't going to tell him over the phone.  I'm not a stupid wife.  Anymore.

No instead, when he called on his way home to say he was bringing home steaks to grill out for dinner I had an idea.  A brilliant idea.

I ran down to the basement, found the tub that has our china in it, located the glasses we used at our wedding reception and set the dining room table with them.  Then set a candle, flowers, and try as I might, I could NOT find my nice tablecloth, on the table as well.

Then I quickly threw on a dress just for fun.  You know, with my hairy legs and my socks and my no make-up self and sashayed around the corner like a model.  Cause I am totally model-esque.

Pretty soon we were eating dinner together with the soft melodious sound of the kids watching cartoons in the background while eating their dinner at the coffee table behind us. 

We reminisced over our wedding china and our wedding glasses.  We talked about how good the steak was and how thoughtful it was of him to get me a skewer of shrimp to go with it....

Notice Lazy Dad talking on his cell phone? He's real romantic like that.

So... over this impromptu candlelight dinner, with me in an impromptu dress, I broke the news to him over how much the cleaning bill was for.

And it went well.  He didn't choke on his food, gasp, cry, shake or anything. 

However, he did climb up on the roof later and I thought he might jump.

But turns out he was just fixing something.

*crisis averted*

And therefore... this is my tutorial on how to break news to your husband.

The end.

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3 Things

Thing Number 1:
This past fall I declared a new series of posts here on I'm a Lazy Mom called Parenting The Lazy Mom Way.  And I was very serious about seeing this series through to the end (unlike other series I've declared over the years).  But then the holidays hit.  And then the New Year hit.  And then it seemed so long since I had written a post in this series that I just let it dry up on the vine.  Completely.

I'm ashamed.

Mainly now because you know I'm not very good and seeing things through to completion.  But I guess you probably could have figured that out by the title of this blog.

So I'm going to try and pick up on this series again.  Mainly because it is the heart of this blog.  And I like to stay true to my heart.  Unless it tells me to clean my house and do laundry.  Then the heart is disregarded at all costs.

Thing Number 2:
I'm a little scared to tell you this thing.

But I'm going to do it.

*clears throat*

I would like to announce that The Lazy Mom Radio Show is going to go weekly starting June 3rd.

*screams in terror*

Wait, did you just scream in terror or was that me?

Anyway, yes, we've decided that a once a month radio show is just too long between shows... so I'm biting the bullet and going weekly.

*screams in terror*

Okay that time it was me.

Thing Number 3:
We are having Party @ Pastor's here at our house on Memorial Day... and you're all invited!! 

Just kidding.

I can't fit that many people in or around my house even if I tried.  My house is the size of a monopoly house, and quite frankly, looks like one too.

BUT, because of this momentous occasion that Lazy Dad makes us we host every year I took one look at my cluttered, messy, un-spring cleaned house and called in the big guns.

They are due to arrive any minute.

Don't judge me.  It had to be done.

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Lazy Lasagna Roll-Ups

This morning I had a fever.

A fever for a Lazy Mom Recipe.

And I knew my fever wouldn't go away until I fed my fever.  (You do feed a fever, right?  Or is it starve a fever?  Or do you starve a cold?  Or maybe it's feed a monkey while you have a cold??  Anybody even know what I'm talking about here?!)

Anywho.  Sitting in my inbox from lazy mom Diane for far too long than I care to admit was this beautiful little Lazy Mom Recipe just staring at me.  Waiting to be loved and appreciated for who it is.  Waiting to be shared with lazy moms everywhere.  And it fed my fever for a Lazy Mom Recipe *snap* just like that.

(If this isn't making any sense, it's because I'm delirious from my fever)

(If this is making sense, maybe YOU are delirious from a fever)

(p.s. I don't really have a fever. This is all figurative)

(p.p.s. That means you don't really have a fever either)

(p.p.p.s. That also means one of us is just delirious... and I'm thinking it's not me)

Alright!  Enough parenthesis talk, let's get this Lazy Mom Recipe crackalackin' already. 


Lazy Lasagna Roll-Ups

1 bag frozen spinach, thawed
2 cups shredded cheese
2 eggs
8 Lasagna noodles*
1 jar Spaghetti Sauce

Preheat oven to 350.
Boil 8 lasagna noodles until al dente.
While your noodles are on the stovetop mix together spinach, cheese, and eggs (add salt and pepper to taste) until well blended.
Spread the spinach mix onto a lasagna noodle, roll it up and place in a greased 9x13 pan.

*To make this recipe even LAZIER, lazy mom Debbie found that you can use pre-cooked lasagna egg noodles and skip the boiling!!

Take the spaghetti sauce and pour it on top of your roll-ups.
If you want to be fancy you can sprinkle on a little more cheese and then put in the oven for 30 minutes.

Thanks Diane for this yummy Lazy Mom Recipe!

And for feeding my fever.

Or is it starve a fever?

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Super Sprowtz {Giveaway}

Y'all.

I'm in love.

With some vegetables.

Namely, the Super Sprowtz!!!

Have you heard of them? Have you seen them?? Have you experienced all their vegetabley goodness???

The Super Sprowtz from Super Sprowtz on Vimeo.
I love them!!!

When my kids were toddlers I wanted to teach them the difference between good food and bad food. So I printed off a bunch of clip art pictures of various foods on a magnet sheet, cut them all apart and then let my kids play with them on the refrigerator.

Here's the remnants of those magnets (lost the "bad food" label!)

I would also tell my kids that if they ate good foods it would give them super powers.... Like if they ate broccoli it would make them super strong! So I was super excited when I found out about Super Sprowtz recently!

Super Sprowtz is the brain child of Radha Agrawal. Who has produced a line of books, videos, puppets, games, etc... that teach your kids the power of vegetables in a entertaining, yet educating kind of way!  Or as they like to call it... vegucation!

I received these two books for my kids.  "The Super Sprowtz Origins" shows how some regular vegetables turn into super heros!  And the board book "Super Sprowtz" introduces each vegetable hero and their "super powers."

In the back of each book there is a list of vegetables and how they are good for your body. 

You all have GOT to spend some time on Super Sprowtz's website.  I entertained myself for quite a while on there! (Wait. Did I just admit that out loud?)

Oh, and show your kids these super fun heros!  They are too cute.

Oh, and let them play some games too (something I also entertained myself with).

Can you tell I'm loving me some Super Sprowtz??

Well, you can too!  Because someone is going to win some Super Sprowtz books of their very own!

**This giveaway is now closed**

To enter: Simply answer the following question in the comments area below this post for one entry....

Do you feel that you are teaching your kids enough about healthy foods?

U.S. residents can answer that question below and be entered to win! (Need help entering? Click here)

If you'd like some EXTRA entries you can do the following, but these are totally optional and not necessary to win.  (Please leave a separate comment for each thing you do or already do. Make sure they are separate comments because each comment is your entry!)

• Subscribe to I'm a Lazy Mom in a reader OR Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Google Friend Connect (over there on the side bar) OR Email Subscribe to I'm a Lazy Mom (you'll get our posts delivered to your email inbox)
• Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Twitter 
• Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Facebook 
• Follow Super Sprowtz on Twitter
• Follow Super Sprowtz on Facebook
• Tweet about this giveaway using the following (1 time only): Win a pack of @SuperSprowtz children's books on @imalazymom! http://tiny.cc/uysof - ends 5/31
• Post on facebook about this giveaway by using the following (1 time only): Win a pack of Super Sprowtz children's books on I'm a Lazy Mom! http://tiny.cc/uysof - ends 5/31

This giveaway is open to U.S. residents and ends on May 31st at 9:00pm (EST).  The winner will be chosen using random.org and will have 48 hours to respond to contact attempts.

Thank you to Super Sprowtz for sponsoring this giveaway. We received two Super Sprowtz books in exchange for this honest review. And this here be my honest review. Love me some Super Sprowtz!

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Lazy Mom Tip #54

Well hello there.

You here for another great Lazy Mom Tip?

Let me just reach into my Lazy Mom goodie bag and see what I've got for ya.....

How many of you have a man in your house that likes to grill out?
How many of you have a man in your house that likes to grill out way too much food?
How many of you have a man in your house that likes to grill out way too much food and then it sits in the refrigerator until you have to throw it out weeks later?

Cause I do.

Lazy Dad likes to grill out when we have people over.  And then because people are over he grills out WAY too much food.  And then that food sits and sits and sits in the refrigerator.  And even though we reheat it for leftovers for a few days, there is inevitably STILL food sitting in the refrigerator and it gets thrown out.

Well, I've wised up since then. 

Now when he grills out way too much food, I put some of it in the fridge for leftovers and I chop the rest of it up for the freezer!

Especially chicken!  Because chicken can be used later in a Lazy Chicken Pot Pie or to make Lazy Chicken Pasta Salad or in Lazy Shredded Chicken Sandwiches or even in Mmm-chiladas!

So don't throw out that perfectly good grilled chicken!  Shred it, cube it, slice it, dice it!  However you do it, just freeze it!!

And I know there are lots of you out there that are in the whole freezer cooking thang.  (It's a thang instead of a thing, right?)  So share with us some of your best freezer cooking techniques in the comments section below!

And as always, send me your great Lazy Mom Tips!

--
Psst! The winner of the 39DollarGlasses.com giveaway was announced last night!

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Kashmiracle

This weekend we drove over to Rock Island Illinois to help pack up and clean out Lazy Dad's Uncle's house.  The house hadn't been sifted through in close to 40 years so we found all sorts of treasures.

Among the most notable?  An Elvis record, 2 Beatles records, a stack of Life magazines from 1972...

Coupons from 1987, a paper quarter (yes, they used to make those), a typewriter that my kids played and played on all weekend...

A hospital bill from 1937 -- it cost a whopping $68.47 to have a baby and stay 11 days in the hospital back then, vintage suitcases, a hand massager from 1952...

Lazy Dad's old Atari (which he made me play with him last night before we went to bed)...

Mink coats, vintage clothes, oh, and this coat...

Which is apparently a Kashmiracle...

And therefore my new favorite word all weekend was kashmiracle.

"Look what I found!  It's a kashmiracle!"
"Do you want to eat there? It may not be kashmiracle?"
"Does this coat make my butt look fat? If not, it's a kashmiracle."

Yes, it's my new favorite word.

My weekend was kashmiracle, how was yours?

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Things I Did

And now it's time for "Things I did this week via Twitter."

Or more appropriately called, "Things I did this week and posted about on Twitter."

Or even more appropriately called, "Things I did this week and posted about on Twitter and no one saw them so I have to post them here on my blog so you'll see them."

*ahem*

Earlier this week when I was busy looking like I was working while not working, I stalled for more time by taking a picture of this in my friends bathroom.  

I just love this sign.  It speaks to me.


Also this week...

So like the good wife I am, I promptly watched half of it.


I showed my utter laziness with the world this week as well...

Which, no one came and did. *humpf*


This week I also made this sad discovery...

Seriously, this is a bummer.  It was the last thing I was holding on to.  Other than these 25 pounds that is.


A really COOL thing that happened this week though was this...

It. Was. Heaven. To. My. Mom. Soul.  I *heart* MOPS.


Ooo, one more thing regarding my post about how to look like you're working while not working I may or may not have accidentally "picked up" some sunglasses that weren't mine.  Which I held for ransom....

And I totally used my best mafia voice when I left the voice mail.  And then I giggled.  And then I threatened to snap her glasses in two if I didn't get payment.  And then I giggled.  And then I said I'd toss the glasses in the river and she'd never see them again.  And then I giggled.

And then my friend called and said she didn't have 50k so I drove over and dropped them off to her.  Cause I'm a mean mafia maven like that.


Another thing I did this week was make a KILLER healthy dinner for my kids...

And last, but certainly not least, I realized I'm allergic to something...

Wish I had known this earlier in life.

So.  What did you do this week?

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Baby Tip!

If you've been around these parts for very long, you know that I struggle to post good Lazy Mom Baby Tips.  I don't intentionally not post baby tips... it's just I don't have babies anymore!

So today, I thought I'd share with you a baby tip sent in by lazy mom Laura and then beg you all to send me good Lazy Mom Baby Tips of your own!!!!

Here's Laura's tip...

We adopted both of our girls, so they were always on the bottle. We also had them on a regular schedule pretty quickly. At night, we would put a little chalkboard on their changing table. They both woke up every 3 hours to begin with. If I got up with them the first time, I would write down how much formula they took, and if I changed them. If they were sick or gassy, I would write down what meds I gave them. My husband would then take the second shift. (God bless him!) He would see what I wrote, and know what to do. They were never over-medicated, and if I hadn't changed them for some reason, he would know it was IMPERATIVE to do so that shift. This way... and this is important... we each got 4-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.  It was the smartest thing these sleep deprived new parents did for each other!

Chalkwall courtesy Uppercase Living

I thought this was a great tip! Thanks Laura!!

Now, it's your turn... send me YOUR great Lazy Mom Baby Tips!

--
Don't miss the laziness! Subscribe to I'm a Lazy Mom via reader or email today!

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Mac & Cheese Lazier

When Lazy Dad and I got married, we discovered something. 

We make Macaroni and Cheese TOTALLY different.

I did the whole pull out a saucepan, boil the water, dump in the macaroni and so on and so forth thing.

HE, however, did not.

He did the whole pull out a bowl, dump in some water, throw in the macaroni and pop it in the microwave thing.

DO WHA?!

I said things to him like, "Is that even legal?!" - "Does alien run in your family?!" - "Are you feverish?!" - "Does this kitchen make my butt look big?!"  And the like.

But you know what?  He totally won me over with his super easy way to make Mac and Cheese. 

Yes, I came over to the dark side (aka: the lazy side) and together we have been mystifying people everywhere with our mad, mad Macaroni and Cheese skills.

So today, prepare to be amazed. 
Prepare to be shocked.
Prepare to run-from-your-house-screaming-with-horror-that-you-didn't-know-this-lazy-way-sooner.
Cause today, I'm going to let you in on how to make it our lazy, lazy way.

I know, I know.

I rock.

Here's what you need...

A really chipped up, broken handled bowl that you can put in the microwave.  If you don't have a chipped up, broken handled bowl then I GUESS you can use a non-chipped up, non-broken handled bowl, but I can't guarantee the results will be the same. 

You need a package of Macaroni and Cheese.  We only use Kraft.  Because the little Kraft cheese packet that comes in the box is made in Lazy Dad's hometown in Wisconsin.  That's right people, Wisconsin makes real cheese AND fake cheese.  It's a very well-rounded dairy state.

And lastly, you need 1 and 3/4 cup of water per box of Macaroni and Cheese. So if you do two boxes of Macaroni and Cheese you'll need... uh... um... er... well, TWO 1 and 3/4 cups of water, mkay?

So, throw the water in the bowl, throw the macaroni in the bowl and throw the bowl into the microwave.  Or if you aren't feeling angry, but a bit dumpy, you can replace "throw" with "dump."  Except for that last step.  Don't dump your bowl in the microwave.  Cause I'm not cleaning it up.  And I have a microwave that proves I don't clean it up.

*ahem*

Now, set your microwave for 10 minutes and walk away (or 15 minutes for two boxes).  Which, by the way, is the beauty of making Macaroni and Cheese in the microwave... you don't have to stand over a stove for a pot to boil and then stand over a stove to make sure the pot doesn't boil over and then stand over a stove and stir the whole time. 

10 minutes later, when the microwave dings or blings or whatever your microwave does for you, your macaroni should be nice and cooked and the water all absorbed.  Now, there may be some water that is not all the way absorbed into the macaroni, but don't worry, just stir it a bit and it will. 

At this point you dump in the butter and the cheese packet.  And since the macaroni is cooked in this way, the only adjustment you need to do is use less milk.  I pour in a drizzle and stir... and if it's not enough, pour in a drizzle more and stir.  Just drizzle in as much milk to make it the way you like it.  Capeesh?

And viola'!  You now have made Macaroni and Cheese in the microwave like totally awesome people do.

Welcome to being totally awesome.

It's about time.

P.S. In lieu of flowers and cheers and accolades over me sharing this with you, cash gifts will be accepted.  You know, on account of me being awesome and such.

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39 Dollar Glasses {Giveaway}

I woke up today and said to my self, "Self, today seems like a good day for a giveaway."

And my self said back to me, "Mmm, I don't know.... I'm feeling a little lazy."

And I said to my self, *Pfff* "What else is new?  We're doing a giveaway, by golly!"

What?  You don't talk to your self?

Anywho, today I'd like to tell you a little bit about 39DollarGlasses.com.

A place where you can get, well, 39 Dollar Glasses.

It's a brilliant name, no?

Lazy Dad and I got to try out the whole process on their website.  And while trying to select a frame off of a website that you think will look good on you is somewhat difficult (since you can't try them on) we overall thought the experience was worth it for the savings.

And to help you out with the whole "not-being-able-to-try-the-glasses-on" thing, 39DollarGlasses.com does offer a life-size print out version of the frames to work with.  Which I thought was a nice touch.

But if for some reason you order a pair of glasses from their website and you are not happy with how they fit when they arrive, 39DollarGlasses.com has a 100% worry free guarantee. Meaning, if you are unhappy for ANY REASON you may return your glasses for a full refund (less shipping) or one-time exchange at no cost. They even pay the return shipping for ya!  Score!  (I like me a good guarantee.)

Lazy Dad was the one we ordered glasses for.  And when it was all said and done, he was able to get a brand spankin' new pair of glasses for less than 70 bucks.

And look super fly in them.

Plus, here was some things I really liked about 39DollarGlasses.com...

• The glasses are totally AMERICAN made (all others get their glasses made in china) -- EVERYTHING (kids and adults) is made here in the USA.
• Fast turn around time -- and if you have an emergency they do offer next day glasses for a little extra.
• They ship FREE to all active service men and women no matter where they are serving!
• They have poly carbonate lenses with UV protection and scratch resistant coverings STANDARD on ALL kids glasses -- All other eyeglass companies make you pay for this protection and if you don't think of asking for it you are putting your child's eyes at risk.

So, the next time you're in the market for some new glasses or sunglasses, consider 39DollarGlasses.com.  Where glasses start at just $39!

Use this code: LAZYMOM at checkout and you get 10% off your order!

Now.  Who'd like to win a new pair of prescription glasses or sunglasses (up to $75.00)?  Woot! Woot!

**This giveaway is now closed**

To enter:  
U.S. and Canadian residents just need to "Like" 39DollarGlasses.com's facebook page and leave a comment in the comment area of this post telling me that you did so!

If you'd like some EXTRA entries you can do the following, but these are totally optional and not necessary to win.  (Please leave a separate comment for each thing you do or already do. Make sure they are separate comments because each comment is your entry!)

• Subscribe to I'm a Lazy Mom in a reader OR Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Google Friend Connect (over there on the side bar) OR Email Subscribe to I'm a Lazy Mom (you'll get our posts delivered to your email inbox)
• Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Twitter 
• Follow I'm a Lazy Mom on Facebook 
• Follow 39DollarGlasses.com on Twitter 
• Tweet about this giveaway using the following (1 time only): Win a free pair of prescription glasses or sunglasses to @39dollrglasses on @imalazymom! Find out how: http://tiny.cc/2qvy8 - Open US & CAN!
• Post on facebook about this giveaway by using the following (1 time only): Win a free pair of prescription glasses or sunglasses to 39DollarGlasses on I'm a Lazy Mom! Find out how here: http://tiny.cc/2qvy8 (Open to US & CAN!)

This giveaway is open to U.S. and Canadian residents and ends on May 23rd at 9:00pm (EST).  The winner will be chosen using random.org and will have 48 hours to respond to contact attempts.

Thank you to 39DollarGlasses.com for sponsoring this giveaway. The Lazy Dad received a free pair of glasses (up to $75) in exchange for this honest review of their ordering process.

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How Not to Work

Yesterday after church a bunch of us church peeps headed out to one of our church peeps' house to help them do some lawn work.

You know, cause we're awesome like that?

While doing lawn work I stumbled upon some sure fire ways to look like you're working while you're really NOT working.

You know, cause I'm lazy like that?

So, for your reading pleasure, here are my top 10 ways of how not to work while you're working.

1. Stall.  For as long as you can.  Like when our hostess said she needed help with something on her computer "before you get to work."  *insert golden stalling moment here*
2. Seize opportunities to stall. Like when I realized our hostess was talking to someone right next to me when she asked for computer help and that person's mouth was full of food at the time so they couldn't say "sure," so I seized the moment and acted like she was talking to me and said "sure, I guess I can help, but then I'm TOTALLY hitting that lawn work."  *Opportunity to stall totally seized*
3. When you have stalled all you can and you finally do find yourself having to work, position yourself near someone who really IS working.  Then it looks like you're getting stuff done by default when someone walks by.
4. Move stuff back and forth in front of you.  Sort of like kids who play with their food to look like their eating it? Yeah, like that.
5. Get your clothes dirty.  Dirty clothes = I've been hard at work.
6. Look the part.  If you have on work boots, gloves, hold a rake, etc.... then people automatically assume you are working.  Note: this is the one time I appreciate assumptions.
7. Hide behind big things where people can't see you not working.  Out of sight, out of "hey, she's not working!" mind.
8. Offer to fetch things.  This helps you avoid working and yet people still give you credit for working.  I highly recommend this "not working" technique.  It's super fly.
9. Become aware of an injury or illness.  Like when I thought I had gotten into some poison ivy and went inside to wash my scratchy wrists.  This gets you back in the house and with any luck out of work all together.
10. When people who are still working see you through the window acting fine after your "injury/illness" yell through the window to them, "I'm from the South, not used to hard labor, and am way too dainty to work!"  Uh, not that I did that.  At all.  Not, at all.

And that, my lazy friends, is my top 10 ways of how not to work while working.

You're welcome.

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Seen on Facebook

You might be a lazy mom if... 

... your kid chills in a cooler full of water for fun.

This picture cracked me up on Facebook the other day.  My friend Jana posted it along with her comment...

"I think it's time for a pool!!!"


Enjoy your Saturday!

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Shhh! It's a Secret!

I have a secret to tell you.

But you have to promise to keep it a secret.

Because my kids don't know yet.

And if you blow the surprise for my kids, I'll blow the surprise for YOUR kids.

Or... or something like that.

Capeesh?

Guess where we're going in June for the first time ever as a family?!

Squeeeeeee!

Gosh.  Do you think they will all be standing there waiting for us to sit down to a banquet with them like that?!  If not, then this is totally false advertising.  And I'm not going to support false advertising.  So they better deliver.  That's all I'm saying.

Anyway, we will be meeting my brother's family, my sister's family and my mom and dad there as well!  In three words?  It's. Gonna. Rock.

Plus, we have some AWESOME Road Trip Sponsors!

Along the way we will be staying in Wingate by Wyndham hotels. Woot! Woot!  We love staying in Wingates.  Seriously, they are super affordable and super awesome.  Kind of like me.

Then when we get to Orlando we are staying at a Hawthorn Suites all week! I'm SUPER excited about this because they have full kitchens in the rooms... perfect for when you need to cut down on costs and make some of your food in your room!  And because of those dad-blasted (is that a bad word?) gas prices, this couldn't be a better deal for our road trip.

Also along the way we will be totally protected against nasty germs because Prefense will be with us the whole time!

You all should remember what a DIE HARD fan of Prefense I am.  I make my kids slather it on every waking morning of their lives.  And then I slather it on myself every waking morning of my life.  Lazy Dad? He's on his own.  But I think he slathers it on every waking morning of his life too.

And I'm totally pumped because we'll also be using Prefense's ALL NEW hand wipes that will be available soon!!  AHHHHHHH!  SO excited about those.  (Is that lame?)

And I MAY have one more sponsor up my sleeve, but I'm waiting to hear back from them.  For the time being, I'm as pumped about this trip as pumped can be.  

So.  You Disney peeps... what would you recommend we do while we are there?  I'm all ears!

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Tennis Anyone?

Yesterday I did something I haven't done in a LONG time.

Exercised.

Shocking, I know.

But it wasn't just any old exercise, it was FUN exercise.... I attended a free tennis class with three of my CrAzY friends: Tami, Emily and Carrie.  We had a blast.

Plus we were star students.  I mean, we totally rocked that tennis lesson.  We showed everyone up.

(not really, I'm lying.)

But we did volley, bounce, jump, serve, crack jokes, volley, bounce, jump, serve, crack jokes, over and over again.

Sweating and beat red in the face I looked up at the clock only to discover that 15 minutes had passed.

So we volleyed, bounced, jumped, served, cracked jokes... worked on forehand techniques, backhand techniques, cracked jokes... got hit by a ball or two, cracked jokes... had balls thrown at us by a ball machine, cracked jokes... For 45 more minutes.

It was exhausting.  And hilarious. 

Here are some things that may or may not have happened during the class...

Instructor: "Don't hold your racket like your about to flip a pancake." Me: "But we're housewives, all we know how to do is flip a pancake."

After being smacked by the ball directly between the eyes, and after I dramatically fell to the ground because of it, and after my friends all lovingly laughed at me because I had an imprint of a tennis ball on my forehead, I said to the Instructor passing by, "She just hit me between the eyes! And I didn't sign a release form for injuries. I'm totally suing."

After seeing all the balls laying around and knowing they were probably going to make us pick them up, I said to the instructor: "I was promised a cute ball boy... I want a refund."

Then when we were told to pick up the balls laying around one of us may have loudly said, "Now this technique I know. How to pick up things."

At one point Emily hit the ball high over my head and when I failed to return it she said, "Stacey, jump for the ball!" To which I replied, "I did jump!"

During some drills the Instructor said, "Act like your shaving something when you hit the ball." Me: "Uh, I don't shave enough to even know what that means." Instructor: "Okay, pretend your grating cheese." Me: "Now cheese I know."

When the instructor was working with my friend Carrie, he said to her, after a rather good return, "Beautiful!"  So she turned to me and said, "That instructor told me my return was beautiful, but I think he was really talking about me." So later after many more times working with him I shouted across the court, "How come you haven't told me any of my hits are beautiful?!"
 
Speaking of Carrie, while being instructed on proper backhand technique she said, "Now I know how to properly backhand my children."  And she said that OUT LOUD.

Speaking of things you probably shouldn't say out loud... Tami said some things.
That you probably shouldn't say out loud. But that's why we love her. (oh, it wasn't really that bad)

Yes.  It was such fun.  There was even some golfing involved.  Due to the fact that when a ball would go careening wildly through the joint I'd yell "FORE!"

Yup, I'm pretty sure they may never want us back at the tennis joint again, but I'm choosing to believe that it is because we were SO good, they were intimidated by us.

I mean, don't we look intimidating???

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'Fess Up!

My daughters 8th birthday was last week and for some reason I totally spaced and forgot to bake her birthday cake! When she came home from school we were talking about what we were doing that evening to celebrate and I remembered I had forgotten the cake! OMGosh! So, I said to my daughter…”Hey! I know how much you love to help mom bake so I thought it would be fun if you helped me bake your birthday cake!” She was so excited to help out and thought it was the best birthday present ever when I let her crack the eggs into the mixing bowl! LOL! Another birthday crisis averted! ~ Kathie

--
I must admit that I would much rather sit at the computer all day long reading blogs, tweeting and pinning on pinterest than doing any housework. And most of the time I do just that. Then I come up with 80 katrillion excuses why things didn't get done. Then I bury myself with food and guilt. The next day I get up and do it all again. ~ Pam

--
So I'm short and shorter people can probably relate to this the most.......
As I'm fighting to get some cleaning done before my mother-in-law comes to see our newborn son, I have found I had to make a list of each room and everything it entails to clean. Today my first day of attempting the LIST I started with the bathroom in the master. It hasn't been scrubbed in a LONG time because well I wasn't about to go there at 8 months preggo. I've been skipping the ooey gooeys on the ceiling... you know the moisture that builds up and makes yellow spots. BUT, I came up with a solution to those! I used my old swiffer dry and an old scrubby rag and tada! I found the best ceiling and wall scrubber ever! Worked great and took little effort. ~ Denise


That last one's a Lazy Mom Tip, too!

What do YOU dare to confess?!? Submit your Lazy Mom Confessions!

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Mother's Day via Twitter

I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday.

I was awoken 15 minutes prior to my alarm going off by my sweet 6 year old girl saying, "Mom... Mom... you need to wake up.  It's Mother's Day."

And I sweetly replied, "Go back to bed."

Which she did.

Because it was Mother's Day.

When my alarm went off and it was inevitable that I was going to have to get up, I went out to the hallway and yelled, "Time to get up and get ready for church!"

Then I collapsed back in my bed for just a few more minutes of shut eye.

Around the house I heard little feet scampering. And before too long three little people that strangely looked like they belonged to me stood before me with handmade gifts of love.

Precious.  Just precious.

I sat up, wiped the sleepiness from my eyes and "Oo'd" and "Aww'd" over each special gift.  And then I realized...

And I am going to be so sad.  So, so, SO sad when these handmade gifts end.  Especially ones like this one...

His train of thought is endearing, isn't it?  "Some people don't like their moms.... But I do... *sigh*... So, I love you."

Made me laugh.

After opening my presents, I was told to stay in bed.  You know, for the annual don't-get-out-of-bed-we-are-making-a-mess-in-the-kitchen-for-you-to-clean-up-later event?

I would like to point out a few things on this breakfast tray.

1. I like peanut butter on my toast. But note: there was the thinnest spread of peanut butter you have EVER seen on those pieces of toast.
2. They put my favorite breakfast drink -- chocolate soy milk -- in a "to go" coffee cup.  But this proved to be helpful in preventing spills when they jumped on the bed.
3. Notice the Fiber One granola bar on the tray.  Isn't it so sweet my children are concerned about my fiber intake?

After my *delicious* breakfast we stumbled out the door to church.  Where we did something I LOVED...

Instead of giving the ladies in our church a cheesy Mother's Day gift that no one uses anyway, we decided to keep with our "Year of Compassion" theme and give back to other Mom's in a time of crisis. 

Yup. LOVED that.

Oh, and also at church I had a "holy moment."

Not that people wear hose to our church.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.  And I only do it to prevent people from going blind by the bright white that radiates from my legs year round.

Oh, and for the control top.  Lord knows I need something to control my jiggles.

After church we had a really nice lunch at Ruby Tuesdays followed by getting our garden ready for planting.

Well, SOME people got our garden ready for planting...

It was loverly.

Then we had dessert for dinner.

Which was even more loverly.

And despite my family's horrendous disease...

I still enjoy being their Mom.

(Most of the time.)

How was your Mother's Day?

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Featured Recipe

During my Lazy Mom Radio Show on Friday I featured a Lazy Mom Recipe that has been very popular on this here blog.

This here one.

For those that were interested in the recipe, but didn't catch all the details on the show, here's the featured recipe for your lazy cooking pleasure!

Lazy Cranberry Chicken

4-5 chicken breasts
1 8oz bottle of french dressing
1 packet of dry onion soup mix
1 16oz can of whole cranberries

Place your breasts (the chicken's, not yours) in a crock pot. I slap mine in there frozen (the chicken's, not mine), but if you have some time (and want this dish to be even better) you can brown your breasts (the chicken's, not yours) on both sides in a pan before putting them in the crock pot. Which is something I've NEVER done, but I do recommend it for those of you who aren't as pathetic as I am. It adds flavor. Or something like that.

Next, pour in the whole bottle of dressing, toss in the soup mix and dump in the cranberries. (Those are all very technical cooking terms in case you were wondering.)

Cook on low for 6-8 hours or on high for 3-4 hours or until your breasts are done (the chicken's, not yours).

Serve over a bed of rice, noodles, or just throw it down on a plate like I did.

Tune in to the next Lazy Mom Radio Show for more Featured Recipes, funny Lazy Mom Confessions and the oh so popular Lazy Mom Tips!

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I Survived!

Today I survived my very first Lazy Mom Radio Show!

I just have one word for you...

AHHHHHHHHH!

I am SO glad that's behind me!!  Although I am looking forward to the next one.  I think.

BNNS Internet Radio survived too!  I am the first show of theirs that is being Skyped in, so I understand there was some technical difficulties during the show.  We will be working on getting the bugs out before the next show airs on Friday June 3rd (unless they talk me into doing it more often than once a month!)

I also understand that you all couldn't hear me wrap up the show.  That instead you just heard music playing after I finished the Lazy Recipe.  Again, another technical thing we will have to work out!

I want to say a BIG thank you to all of you who listened in!!  And a GINORMOUS thank you to those that chatted in the chat window and actually called in to the show!

Both my mom and my good friend Traci called in and I had NO CLUE they were on the air live with me!  I thought they had been recorded and that I was listening to the recording and then taking it from there.  I feel so silly about that!!  I totally would have conversed more with them if I had known! Whooops!

Plus, I've learned that my ear phones get muted when I'm talking on the mic, so I didn't know my mom was still talking when I started to answer her question!!  I couldn't hear her... but understand that you all still could.

Geesh.  When are they going to get a professional lazy mom up in here?? 

I'll let you know when the show is up on BNNS' website to listen to.

Maybe.

If you're lucky.

I'll think about it.

Okay,  I'll tell you.... it's already up.  You got it out of me.

To listen to the show simply click here!

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Today's the Day!

Today is the debut of The Lazy Mom Radio Show!!! 

*insert terrified screaming here*

Tune in at 10am Eastern or 9am Central on BNNS Internet Radio!

Learn more by clicking on the picture....

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What's in Your Console?

On Monday I showed you the current state of my car and the things I had been meaning to do to clean it out.

Then President Obama declared it a National Disaster zone and we took it in to get detailed to spare the rest of the country from having to deal with such a mess.

Aren't we all thoughtful of our country and such?

The only thing that wasn't cleaned out during the car detailing was the car console and I totally knew there was some MAJOR stuff all up in there.  But I didn't know how much major stuff until I cleaned it out today while videoing the whole thing.  Because I figured, who better to go through my console with me than all of you, right?!

(This is where you say "right.")

So, here is what I discovered in my car console...

(video)

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There's Something Amiss

Last night my mother called me.

"We are so excited about your Lazy Mom Radio Show!"  *Pause*  "Hey! What time is it?"

I glance at the clock which reads 9:52pm and decide to round up, "It's 10 o'clock."

"Oh," she says, "It's 10 o'clock?"

"Well, it's 9:52."

Confusion rang in her voice, "What?! When did it get moved to 9:52??"

"Uh, I was rounding up when I said 10 o'clock, it's really 9:52 right now." Now I was confused.

"OH! No, I was talking about your radio show... what time is THAT, not what time is it right now?"

*insert laughter here*

"My radio show is at 10 o'clock."

"Your time?"

"Yes, 10 o'clock Eastern."

"Oh no. I don't think any of us caught that.  We've just been telling everyone to listen in at 10 o'clock! You should probably clarify that on your blog."

"Mom, I've been saying it's at 10 o'clock EASTERN.  You do know what E-S-T stands for, right?"

"So the show is at 9 o'clock our time? I'll have to tell your Daddy. I don't think he caught it either.  And I don't think your sister, your Aunt or anyone else did either for that matter.  We've all been saying 10 o'clock."

*insert lots of laughter here*

So.  I thought I should clarify to the rest of you what time my Lazy Mom Radio Show is on Friday.  That pesky little one hour time difference between Ohio and Texas has thrown off the Texas peeps in my life, so who even knows what it's done to the rest of you'ns.

Pay attention!!

*taps ruler on desk*

My show airs this FRIDAY at 10am EASTERN.  Which makes it 9am CENTRAL for you Texas peeps that called me last night wondering what time it is.

This also makes it 8am MOUNTAIN, and 7am PACIFIC (and yes I had to look up what you West Coasters call your time zone).

Everyone on the same page now?

Can we all go on with our own little time zone lives?

Am I in an episode of the Twilight Zone?

Does Oprah still have a TV show?

Is Barack Obama still president?

Am I still going to Muffins for Moms at my kids' school next week?

I feel like my world is spinning.

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The Lazy Mom Radio Show

Thanks for all your love and support, but The Lazy Mom Radio Show is taking a permanent vacation!

If you just can't stand that the show isn't on anymore, you can still listen to past shows.  Here are two ways to listen:

• Listen to past shows right on iTunes!  Feel free to download them to your computer or mp3 players as well.
• Listen on The Lazy Mom Radio Show Podbean page.

What people said about the show:
"It was priceless!"

"She's the next Oprah -- only white!"

"The Lord is shining right through her and filling up the hearts that are listening in."

"She rocks!"

"I love how real she is."

"What a riot!"

"No! She MUST be on next week, too!!!!"

"I'm excited about being a mom again."

"It ended too soon!"

"She's a natural."

"She can only get better!"

"Amazed at how real she is. We are used to so much pre-fab, scripted, reality junk, and it is obvious that she is what she says she is."

"Refreshing. Absolutely refreshing."

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