I know this may come as a shock to all of you, and in case any of you might think otherwise, I felt I should let you all know that... I am not a very active person.
(This is where you pretend to be shocked and deny what I said was true.)
Aw, you all are so sweet, but really, I'm not!
Over the weekend, when Lazy Dad suggested that we ride our bikes to a restaurant that's only about a mile from our house where we were meeting friends of ours that we hadn't hung out with in a while, I totally thought to myself, "No problem. I've got this."
Lazy Dad sauntered out to the garage and got our bikes out while I leisurely put my tennis shoes on.
By the way, have you ever seen my bike seat?
What? I need things that ENCOURAGE me to ride my bike, not DIScourage me.
Anyway, about a half of a block into our bike ride, I start breathing heavy.
That's right people, I said a half a block and I'm starting to get winded.
Lazy Dad, who is NOT breathing heavy, looks at me and says, "Are you going to make it?"
"I... *light panting*... think... *more light panting*... so," I reply.
One block goes by.
I say to Lazy Dad, "Uh... *slightly heavier panting*... should my thighs... *more slightly heavier panting*... be burning already?"
This is where Lazy Dad begins to laugh at me. So I shoot him a look and say, "Why is this so much easier for you?"
He then launches into a whole shpeel about bicycle gears. All I heard through my now full-out heavy panting was "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," and the fact that he "blah-blah'ed" all without heavy panting, himself.
(This is where you pretend to be shocked and deny what I said was true.)
Aw, you all are so sweet, but really, I'm not!
Over the weekend, when Lazy Dad suggested that we ride our bikes to a restaurant that's only about a mile from our house where we were meeting friends of ours that we hadn't hung out with in a while, I totally thought to myself, "No problem. I've got this."
Lazy Dad sauntered out to the garage and got our bikes out while I leisurely put my tennis shoes on.
By the way, have you ever seen my bike seat?
What? I need things that ENCOURAGE me to ride my bike, not DIScourage me.
Anyway, about a half of a block into our bike ride, I start breathing heavy.
That's right people, I said a half a block and I'm starting to get winded.
Lazy Dad, who is NOT breathing heavy, looks at me and says, "Are you going to make it?"
"I... *light panting*... think... *more light panting*... so," I reply.
One block goes by.
I say to Lazy Dad, "Uh... *slightly heavier panting*... should my thighs... *more slightly heavier panting*... be burning already?"
This is where Lazy Dad begins to laugh at me. So I shoot him a look and say, "Why is this so much easier for you?"
He then launches into a whole shpeel about bicycle gears. All I heard through my now full-out heavy panting was "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," and the fact that he "blah-blah'ed" all without heavy panting, himself.
Two blocks go by.
At this point the only thing keeping me peddling was my growling stomach and the fact that yummy food awaited it at our destination.
Three blocks go by.
I'm ready to call for an ambulance.
At this point, we hit a gigantic parking lot that we have to cross, and I'm huffing and puffing and thanking Jesus that I'm going to get to see Him today if I don't make it across this parking lot alive.
Lazy Dad is, of course, happily pedaling along and hasn't even broken a sweat, much less, started breathing heavy.
I make a mental note to unfriend him on Facebook later.
But before I know it, we're there. I made it!
I enjoy a delightful delicious dinner with good friends. And then it dawns on me.... I've got to ride my bike back home.
"Jesus! Take me now!"
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Girl you had me roaring with laughter that my little girl came in and asked me if I was ok and said mama pwease dont cry, you wanna hug....Yes my hubby trys to tell me about the gears and I ungracefully tell him to Zip it but it sounds more like shut uppppp as he rides circles around me.
ReplyDeleteMe thinks maybe you need a moped.....
I can relate! I'll exercise for food. Not heavily, mind you. Good for you for biking that long. I would've died.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to exercise with my husband anymore. I can feel his judge-y eyes watching me. To tell the truth, I hear him judging me. "Why don't you speed up and keep pace with me?" Ass. Maybe it's because he's an entire foot taller than me and I'm channeling the road runner trying to keep up. My legs are short!
You are soooo silly! I really enjoyed this and just had to let you know how much I enjoy your humorous posts! I read them a lot, but often am in too much of a hurry to comment. Not good..and I promise to do better! You are such a blessing!
ReplyDeleteHugs, GraceinAZ (Pat)
I want that bike seat! Is that gel? When I ride it's not so much my thighs it's my butt that hurts. I need a big old wide gel seat!
ReplyDeleteYes it is! I got it at Walmart!
ReplyDelete