Lazy Mom Confessions

Here on I'm a Lazy Mom, we like to poke fun at those lazy MOMents all moms have.  It makes us laugh, it makes us say, "hey I do that too!" and it makes us all feel like we are normal moms after all.

Besides, no one can be a perfect mom ALL the time.

So today, here's two Lazy Mom Confessions that were sent in to me.  And then I share one shining lazy mom moment of my own.  *sigh*

Please don't tell my mother, I think it would send her to an early grave...... but I mix whites and darks when I do laundry! Okay I finally have come "clean" of my dirty little secret! ~ Michelle

I am a working lazy mom who budgets for housecleaning...yep I am to lazy to clean my own home. Thankfully, there are reasonably-priced cleaning services in my area who can do this wonderful thing for me, so I can spend more time with my child and my husband. ~ Kara

See? These brave moms confessed... what's your confession???  Send it in to me!

And now, MY confession.

*gulp*

Remember when my family went to Kalahari?  

Well approximately ten days later I discovered my daughter's still packed suitcase down in the basement.  Apparently it got carried down there before it was unloaded.  Inside it was her clothes, stuffed animals, toys, and her........TOOTHBRUSH.

That's right people.  My daughter hadn't brushed her teeth since Kalahari.  Ten days before.  TEN. DAYS.

This is where my sister passes out.

But not before I accept the Mother of the Year Award for 2012.

*blush*

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Honey Grilled Shrimp {A Lazy Mom Recipe}

This weekend a couple from our church had us over for dinner.  The husband grilled out some DELICIOUS shrimp that were so tasty.  I loved the shrimp so much he pulled out the recipe for me and it was *gasp* only four ingredients!

Lazy Mom Recipe alert!!!!!

If you are a shrimp person you simply MUST make this as soon as heavenly possible.  Plus, a serving is only 175 calories! SCORE!

Honey Grilled Shrimp

1 bottle (8 ounces) Italian salad dressing
1 cup honey
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
2 pounds uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

In a small bowl, combine the salad dressing, honey and garlic; set aside 1/2 cup. Pour remaining marinade into a large resealable plastic bag; add the shrimp. Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for 30 minutes. Cover and refrigerate reserved marinade for basting.

Drain and discard marinade. Thread shrimp onto eight metal or soaked wooden skewers. Using long-handled tongs, moisten a paper towel with cooking oil and lightly coat the grill rack.

Grill, uncovered, over medium heat or broil 4 in. from the heat for 1 to 1-1/2 minutes on each side. Baste with reserved marinade. Grill or broil 3-4 minutes longer or until shrimp turn pink, turning and basting frequently. Yield: 8 servings.

picture from TasteofHome.com

 Mm, mm.  It's good stuff y'all.  Now go forth and grill some shrimp!

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Life

You know what's been happening around here lately?

LIFE.

And lots of it. 

As that one person said that one time (I have no clue who they are) life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.  And okay, I just looked it up and it was John Lennon who said it.

That's what's been going on around here.  While I was busy making all kinds of plans life stepped in.  Nothing huge, nothing life-altering.  Just stuff life threw at me and I had to deal with.

So while I've been busy doing that, I've neglected all of you.  I didn't mean to.  But, eh, it happens.

I have a PILE of stuff I still have to tackle and I need to catch up on my work.  But you don't care about any of that, now do ya?  So let's talk about you instead....

What have you been doing lately?  Did you watch the Oscars?  Did you enjoy Valentine's Day?  How was your New Years?  ... Gosh, just how long have I been neglecting you?!

Um, where was I... Lazy Dad just called me and I lost my train of thought.

Oh yes, neglecting you.  That's where I was.  *ahem*

I'm gonna try and stop doing that.  I've got confessions, lazy recipes and tips to share with you, so stay tuned this week!

Love,
The Lazy Mom

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Parenting the Lazy Mom Way: Teach them Delayed Gratification

The other day I was reading an article on why French parents are superior to American parents.  (Seriously, go read that article.  It's long, but good.)

I wasn't too far into the article when I realized that the "French" way to raise children was not too far off from the "Lazy" way of raising children.  (If you don't know the lazy way, start here.)  In fact, there weren't much differences at all.

Then it dawned on me that I must be WAY more cultured and French than I had previously anticipated. *tosses hair over shoulder and strikes a pose*

Anyway, in this article I found one of the main differences from French parenting and American parenting was how we teach our children gratification.  The French emphasize delayed gratification, and they do so from infancy–not picking up a baby when they start to cry, but letting them fuss for a bit first and fall back asleep–while Americans notoriously teach instant gratification (What? Let the baby cry? That's so cruel!).

Interestingly, the natural by-product of the French approach is that their children learn something very valuable that American children aren't learning–patience.

I mean let's face it.  We currently live in a culture that when we want something, we want it NOW.  Even though it wasn't too long ago that our grandparents understood and practiced delayed gratification.  They saved up for that family vacation and squirreled away money for a car so they could buy it with cash.  Now we just charge it on a credit card and pay for it later... with interest!  And could it be that we really are teaching our children this from infancy?

I like to think Lazy Dad and I have been pretty good about teaching our children delayed gratification.  Could we be better at it?  Sure.  But like I said, our "lazy parenting" was so similar to "French parenting" that I think we got off to a good start and didn't even realize it.

I vividly recall being at the hospital after having our firstborn and telling the nurse that I had already started my baby on a schedule.  Before the words finished leaving my mouth the nurse rebuked me and said, in so many words, that I was "a mean parent" for doing that to my newborn child. 

Not to be deterred, Lazy Dad and I stuck to our guns and kept our baby on schedule (after all, he was MY baby, not HERS) and much to our delight he started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old.

We didn't realize it then, but just by putting our son on a "mean" schedule we were already teaching him delayed gratification.  And so we did with the second and the third child.

For some reason Americans have gotten it into their heads that when we delay gratification for ourselves or our children we are, as that nurse put it, being mean or depriving ourselves.  So we've twisted our way of thinking about delayed gratification.  Instead of instant gratification being wrong, we think delayed gratification is.

By thinking this way, in my opinion, we are successfully raising our kids to be spoiled brats.  They call the shots and we jump to fulfill them.  So who's the parent then?

But a "lazy mom" doesn't let her children call the shots.  She's the parent.  She knows what's best for them.  And teaching them delayed gratification doesn't make us bad or "mean" moms, it makes us GOOD moms.  It also teaches them that invaluable skill of patience, which a good mom should teach her children.

So what are some ways we can teach our children delayed gratification in a culture obsessed with gratifying every whim immediately?

• Teach your children from infancy!  Letting a baby cry for a few minutes never hurt anything.  Don't pick them up right away.  Often times a baby can settle themselves back down if given 10-15 minutes to do so.
• Teach your children how to play by themselves.  Americans tend to feel the need to entertain their children constantly, but teaching them how to entertain themselves is a great skill to learn and also teaches them delayed gratification and patience.  Toddlers can even play by themselves if taught to.  Set up a baby gate in the door jam of their room and let them have 30 minutes of alone play time with their toys every day.  It may take several days to a week for them to get the hang of it, but if it's a part of their daily routine, they'll catch on quickly. 
• Teach your children how to wait for a treat.  According to the article, French parents feed their children three times a day with a snack around 4pm.  Even if they buy a special treat, the children have to wait for it until an eating time.  Americans definitely have a more leisurely meal schedule, but teaching your child to wait for a treat later is something we should do regularly to teach them delayed gratification.
• Teach them how to wait to interrupt you.  We were fortunate enough to learn this idea very early with our children when we took a Growing Kids God's Way class.  "The interrupt rule" is something our kids institute often, especially at church!  If Lazy Dad or I are talking to someone or even if we are on the phone at home, our children know to use the interrupt rule: putting their hand on our shoulder or leg to let us know they need to interrupt us.  You would think this would be difficult to teach a child, but actually it isn't.  When they ran up to us and tried interrupting we would take their hand and put it on our shoulder or leg and instruct them that we were talking and they should wait with their hand there till we could ask them what they needed.  In no time at all our children learned the interrupt rule and again, it teaches them delayed gratification and patience.
• Teach your children how to save up for something.  This may be the biggest culprit in American parenting–we don't teach our children how to save, we just buy them what they want when they want it.  Like I said before, it wasn't too long ago that our grandparents saved up for things–a house, a vacation, a car–but somehow we've lost that trait in our culture and we're inadvertently teaching it to our children.  Lazy Dad and I are teaching our children that saving for something is the better way, because if they don't save for it, they'll be in debt.  My middle child especially wants things he sees in the store.  One day he really wanted something that was about five dollars, but I wasn't willing to buy it for him.  He pestered and pestered, and asked and asked, the entire time we were at the store.  I finally stopped and said to him, "Do you have the money for it that you can pay me back when we get home?"  "No," he said.  "Well, if you want it so badly then I can buy it for you..." he started to smile... "but then you are in debt to me and owe me that money.  And the way you can work off your debt is by doing LOTS of work around the house whenever I want you to do it."  He thought about it a minute and decided he didn't like the idea of being in debt to me, so he decided he could save up for it instead.  Side note: Just make sure if you use this approach you are really willing to make them work hard to pay off their debt–don't make it easy!
• Teach your children that delayed gratification is way more satisfying than instant gratification.  If your child saves up for something or works hard to achieve a goal, be sure and point out how much more satisfying their approach was.  Just by pointing it out, you are teaching them delayed gratification.  "I'm SO proud of you for working so hard to save up for that game you really wanted.  Doesn't it feel so much more rewarding than if you had gotten it right away?"

Delayed gratification and patience are such important things to teach our children.  It not only translates into our children being better behaved (it really does!), but it also is shaping them into great adults, which is what every parents wants their children to ultimately be.  That is the point of parenting after all!

What are some ways you teach your children delayed gratification? Leave a comment below to share with us!

Start at the beginning of this series

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Remind Me to Tell You... about Less Than Perfect

A few weeks back I decided I was going to finally get around to telling you about things I've asked you to remind me to tell you.  It started with tulips, remember?

Well today, I thought I'd tell you the story behind why Lazy Dad and I have a inside joke about the TV sitcom Less Than Perfect.  Even though it's not on TV anymore.  And as most TV shows go, it started off all harmless and funny and then got pretty raunchy.  I just hate how TV shows turn on you like that.

But anyway, it was a seriously funny show.  We would laugh and laugh and laugh at it and were sad when it ended.  One of our favorite characters was the TV anchor Jeb Denton (played by Patrick Warburton).

And if you know this actor at all, then you know that he has a very funny way of talking. 

Also in this show was a character named Kipp Steadman (played by Zachary Levi).

Kipp becomes Jeb's assistant, but much to Kipp's dismay the boss never calls him his assistant, instead he only calls him "Secretary."  And the WAY he calls him "secretary" is just too funny because of how this actor talks.

I couldn't find a great clip of the way he says it, but here, just watch this clip on YouTube to get the gist.  (You'll want to hit stop at the one minute mark, unless you want to watch the other nine minutes of it.)

So Lazy Dad and I thought this was too funny in the show.  The way it irked Kipp and the way Jeb said, "secretary."  So any time Lazy Dad or I said the word "secretary" we would say it the way Jeb did in the show.  Cause, you know, *throws hair over shoulder* we thought it was too funny.

Several years after the show went off the air, Lazy Dad was at a meeting with our area pastors.  In this meeting they were voting for two offices to be filled, Presbyter and Secretary.

And guess which one Lazy Dad was voted in for?

*stifles laughter*

That's right.  Lazy Dad was himself, a bonafide "secretary."

We laughed so hard over it.  And for days on end called him "secretary." 

And THAT, my lazy people, is the inside joke Lazy Dad and I have over the TV show Less Than Perfect.

Uh... guess you had to be there.


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A Long Line of Lazy Moms

For the record, I am not a first generation lazy mom.

No, no. I come from a long line of lazy moms.

To prove this to you, on my last Lazy Mom Radio Show tomorrow, I'm having my mom on.  It should be very... um... shall we say, interesting?

But also to prove to you that the lazy mom genes went further back than just my mother, here is a true story that my dear sweet Aunt emailed me several weeks ago.  It's a Lazy Mom Confession from a 60's housewife, namely my grandmother, as told by my Aunt.

This is a true story. This really happened, and it happened to me. We were a nice family of 6 living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Our two-story gray stone house was lovely, and heated with floor furnaces. After a day in the snow, the four kiddos would drag out the wooden fold-up clothes hanger and toss our gloves, mittens and scarves over the dowels and let them dry. Seems we didn't own a "real" clothes dryer at the time.

When my mom didn't use the floor furnace, she used the gas kitchen oven as a dryer. I'm not kidding. Just slide a few garments in on a cookie sheet and hit "warm." One cold school morning I awoke to no underwear... not a single shred in my drawers. I raced downstairs and told my mom I was fresh out of panties. She told me to get dressed and that after breakfast she'd have a clean pair for me.

I watched in horror as she took a cold, wet, pair of my older brother's whitey tighties, spread them over a cookie sheet, and "cooked" them in the oven. Yes, and I had to wear HIS underwear, NOT girl's underwear, boy's underwear.

I was humiliated. utterly and completely. And, since you are the grand daughter of my mother, you wonder where you get a lazy mom blog... just take a look over your shoulder. She had a head start on you.

So see?  The laziness at least goes back to my grandmother.  Who also, by the way, was a Pastor's wife.  Mm, hmm.  But I bet if we reached even further back, we'd find her mother was a lazy mom as well!

Be sure and tune in to the last Lazy Mom Radio Show tomorrow at 2pm EST/1pm CST to hear my mom and I chat it up!

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Slim-Fast Update {and a Giveaway!}

It has officially been four weeks since I started the Slim-Fast 321 Plan so I figure it's time for an update on my progress.

Am I still on the program?
Have I lost weight?
How have I managed to stay so gorgeous since youth?

All these questions begged to be answered.  Some more than others.

Yes, I'm still on the program and I guess good genes have kept me gorgeous since my youth.  But I imagine the question you are all wondering about the MOST is how much weight have I lost.  Right? 

Well in four weeks time I have lost....

{drumroll please}

9 pounds!

Woohoo!  I'm very happy with this.  And would love to share with you some tips I've learned along the way.

As you know, Slim-Fast is not a long-term diet or way of life.  It is mainly a way to slim down for an event or to help you reach your goal.  That's a good thing to keep in mind when you start the Slim-Fast 321 plan because I've found it helps you stay on track and focus on your goal.  My goal?  30 pounds.  And I'm not stopping till I get there!

But here are some more tips and tidbits I've learned over the past four weeks:

• Savor each sip and bite!  The first few days (and for some, weeks) on Slim-Fast are the hardest.  Just like with any diet you go on.  At first it's easy to feel deprived or like you aren't eating enough to satisfy you.  The way I got through this was to take teeny tiny sips or bites of what I was having at the moment.  It made the meal last longer and in the end I felt more satisfied.
• Drink lots of water!  My first week I was not drinking enough water and I quickly learned you have to really up your water to see the weight come off.  I know people say water helps you feel full, but that has never been the case for me.  But if that's a by-product for you, then work it, girl, work it!
• Chew gum!  My second week of being on the 321 plan Lazy Dad and I were at the grocery store and I maybe sorta-kinda went a little bit crazy buying gum that tasted like food.  Strawberry Shortcake gum, Orange Creme pop gum, and even Apple Pie gum!  I even bought some breath mints that tasted like fruit.  This gives me something with very minimal calories to pop in my mouth to get me between meals and snacks.
• Change things up!  After four weeks on the plan I'm getting a little bit "bored" with my options.  To change things up a bit I've bought a container of the Slim-Fast powder and am blending it up with milk in my blender.  This makes it a bit frothy and I likey.  I've also heard that you can put the Slim-Fast shakes in the freezer for a bit and turn it into a slushy drink.  I haven't tried this yet, but that's a great way to change things up as well!
• Set your alarm!  If you're like me, you can get carried away with your day and before you know it, you're totally way beyond hungry and blow your diet by pigging out.  On the Slim-Fast 321 plan I'm supposed to eat every 2-3 hours.  So I set my cell phone alarm to go off to remind me it's time for a snack or a meal!

These are just some of the things that have helped me stay on track over the last four weeks. Have I blown it here and there along the way? Yes! But I'm happy to report that it's been very minimal and when I have blown it, I've picked myself up and gotten back on the plan as quickly as possible.

By the way, did you know that Slim-Fast is having a contest right now for someone to win $10,000 and a makeover with celebrity stylist Jacqui Stafford?

AND you can also win a Red Carpet Getaway with Slim-Fast and Live with Kelly!

Uh, GO ENTER THOSE!

Slim-Fast wants you to have your own WOW moment this year and reach your weight-loss goals! So they are giving away one $50 American Express gift card right here to an I'm a Lazy Mom reader!

This giveaway is open to anyone that can use an American Express gift card where you live!  Enter using the Rafflecopter form below.  You can do as little or as many as you like on the form, but each one you do is an entry to win!

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A Valentine's Dessert Party

So you know my friend Carrie?  And how she throws super fun parties?  Like that one time she had a caramel apple dipping party?  Yeah that friend.

This Saturday she threw another great party.  A Valentine's dessert party.

Isn't she so fun?

Remind me to never let her break up with me.  Which I KNOW she wants to do once my kids hit High School since they'll graduate one right after the other.  That's three graduation gifts she'll have to fork out in three years.

Then they'll possibly graduate College one right after the other and then maybe even get married one right after the other.  She's no dummy.  She knows this could be costly on her part.  So she threatens to break up with me before all that ensues. 

But I'm not letting her break up with me.  Not if she keeps inviting me to such fancy soiree's.

When we walked in she had candles lit everywhere, love songs playing on the TV, flowers and decorations all around, and desserts.  (excuse the horrible cell phone photos)

She had thought of everything.  Even had picture frames around the house with quotes about love printed in them.

We played fun games, including The Newlywed Game, and she had us each open a fortune cookie so we could act like teenagers and add "in bed" to the end of each of them.

What?

You didn't do that when you were a teenager?

She even had the Valentine theme right down to the drinks.  How cute was this?

Then she made us all take pictures with our sweetie.

Which, incidentally, we were told in the invitation to her party that we could bring more than one sweet tooth to the party, but not more than one sweetie. 

I told you she's fun!

In fact, she's so fun she made Lazy Dad and I celebrate a holiday we don't even celebrate ourselves!  

And Carrie, you're never breaking up with me. 

Unless you start throwing un-fun parties.

Then I may have to let you go. 
 

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Recalculating

Lately my internal GPS has been *said in my best British accent* "recalculating... recalculating...."

In my "recalculations" I'm having to let some things go.  God is shifting and rearranging some things in my life and when this happens it's always good to reevaluate and see what things you've picked up out of "doing good" that maybe you either shouldn't have, or the season of doing it has passed.

For me, in "the season of doing it" vein, a few things have passed.  One of those being The Lazy Mom Radio Show.  This was a tough decision for me, but I knew that it had served its purpose for my life and it was time for me to let it go.  This makes me sad and relieved all at the same time.

I have learned so much from my radio show experience.  Seriously, I discovered new skills, gifts and talents that I didn't know I had, and for that I am SO thankful.  It's so hard to discover those things on your own and because the BNNS Radio staff pushed me out of my comfort zone I was able to not only discover them, but use them!  The show was instrumental to me in that regard.

Today's show will be a replay show because I can't do it live today.  Next Friday (the 17th) will be my last radio show and as a fun farewell to something that was fun in my life, I'm having my mom on the show as my fun special guest.

In an interestingly humiliating type of fun.  *smile*

Also in my "recalculations" I'm letting go of some things that maybe I should have never picked up in the first place.  There's so many good things that present themselves to us over periods of time.  And because they are a good thing and a good opportunity we often pick them up thinking it's what God wants us to do.

If there's one thing I've learned as a Pastor's wife and being in ministry for almost 12 years, it's that there's PLENTY of "good things" to do.  It's so easy to start adding those to our to-do lists because they seem like their God's plans for us because, well, they're good things after all! 

So after having gone through a season of time where I've added lots of good things to my plate I'm "recalculating" and reevaluating these things.  In other words, I'm dumping what's on the plate and starting over with a clean plate!

Now, I know you're all worried and on pins and needles thinking that I'm giving up this here lazy blog, but put your mind at rest my dear lazy people, cause I'm not.  Until it's clear that I need to move on from it, it's here to stay. 

That either just brought you joy or terror.

Please don't tell me which one.

So, if my blog posts have been sporadic lately, or continue to be, it's because I'm busy recalculating.

That and being lazy.

Are you recalculating anything in your life?  I'd love to hear about it.  Leave a comment below!

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In the News {and a giveaway!}

1. Last week Lazy Dad and I went shopping at a local thrift store that two fellas from our church own.  While we were browsing around I came across this.

Does anybody remember this toy?!  Cause I totally had one.  I remember the blood pressure cuff and the stethoscope and the shot and the... okay, I remember it all.

I wanted to buy it so my children could relive my childhood for me.  But I refrained.


2.  Speaking of wanting to buy things at the thrift store.  I wanted this red cabinet SO. BAD.

This picture doesn't do it justice.  It was beautiful.  And red.  And beautiful.

The inside was not red.  It was deep brown wood.  Sort of a rustic wood.

I loved it and I wanted it desperately.  I begged Lazy Dad for it.  I said I wanted it for my birthday.  I pointed out it was such a good price.  I told him it would be perfect in our kitchen.  I said I just HAD to have it and that I would never ask for anything ever again ever if he got it for me.

So we measured it and they put a hold on it for us and then we went home and he measured the spot in the kitchen where I envisioned it and then he told me it wouldn't fit there.  And so I had him measure again.  You know, just to double check.  And then I had him measure a space in our family room for it.  And it wouldn't fit there either.  And then I said we could put in in the basement.  And he said no. 

Then I cried.

And pouted.

And said, "but it could fit somewhere in our NEXT house!"

To which he looked at me with that, "really?" kind of look.

And then I pouted.

And cried.

And he still said no.

I still want you beautiful red cabinet!!!!!!


3.  After our fun trip to Kalahari we had the chance to meet up with my brother-in-law for dinner.  He lives in Georgia with my sister (that's generally how the whole marriage thing works) but he is FROM Texas.  As is my sister.  As is myself.  (Just in case you forgot).

He was near Cleveland for a business trip and we were super pumped we got to meet him halfway for dinner.  He's such a nice brother-in-law.

And I'm his super-fly sister-in-law.

He's just so lucky to have me in his family now.


4. This morning we said goodbye to a special member of our household.  She was so special to us that this is apparently the only picture we have of her.

Inside that blue wrapping paper is a fish tank with our dear fish Holly in it.  Our middle child got her for his birthday last year.  And she brought joy to all our hearts.

She was a good beta fish.  She never talked back.  She never complained.  And she mostly kept her room picked up. 

She is survived by her loving family, The Lazy Dad and Mom, and their children, A, B and C.  In lieu of flowers please send memorial donations to the National Advocacy for Fish Rights, Awareness and Humaneness.  Or NAFRAH for short.

It's a 501(3)c I just started this morning out of my home.  So just make those checks out to me and I'll be sure it gets in the right hands.  *ahem*


5.  Speaking of my middle son. He took first place in the Pinewood Derby for his Cub Scout den. 

His car was the fastest so that means he's advancing to the next round and we now have to take him to District races. Which is a WHOLE DAY of Pinewood Derby races. 

We took him a few years ago when he was a Tiger Cub and endured that long day in the stands.  So each year after that Lazy Dad and I have secretly hoped he wouldn't advance to the next round so we wouldn't have to go back again.

Aren't we such great parents?


6.  How 'bout we end this post of news worthy items with a giveaway?  Have you tried the new McBites at McDonald's yet?

My kids and I tried them a week or so ago and they are really good!  I only ate one since I'm Slim-Fasting, but it was nice and juicy, and the small snack size actually had a lot more in it that I anticipated. 

"McDonald’s new Chicken McBites are made with juicy pieces of bite-sized premium chicken breast and a savory home-style seasoning. To enhance the taste experience, chicken fans can also pair Chicken McBites with a variety of dipping sauces for their dunking pleasure.

McDonald’s Chicken McBites are perfectly poppable and served in a convenient new package for today’s busy lifestyles. Its three sizes – Snack (3 oz.), Regular (5 oz.) and Shareable (10 oz.) – can accommodate any occasion whether customers are on-the-go or sharing with friends."

McDonald's wants you to try their new McBites out so they are sponsoring a giveaway open to U.S. residents only. You can win a prize pack that includes:

- McDonald’s branded backpack
- Mini speaker
- Car charger
- $10 McDonald’s Arch card

To enter, simply fill out the Rafflecopter form below.  As usual you can do as many or as little as you like on the form. Each thing you choose to do is an entry!

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I Had Another One

I had another birthday yesterday.  It wasn't too painful, but it did hurt a little.

By the way, this is where you all jump to the comment form on this blog post and tell me how young and gorgeous I look and you'd never guess in a million years that I was a day out of High School. And then you all would mail me chocolate and cash in lieu of flowers as condolences for my grief of turning another year older.

Go ahead and do that while I continue with this blog post, mkay? 

Speaking of flowers, I got some beautiful ones from my sweet family.  They must have not gotten the "in lieu of" memo, but they cheered me up just the same.

I also got the sweetest note from my daughter.

Who doesn't tear up over that, I ask you?!  She even told me that while she was writing it her "eyes were dripping."

Isn't she so sweet????

Gosh, she takes after me. 

*ahem*

Lazy Dad also really delivered on the gifts this year.  He bought me this magnet, that you may recognize as one I already bought for myself.

But he also got me a gift certificate for a one hour massage! Ahhhhhhh.

AND he got me this fun necklace to remind all of you'ns where I hail from.  Which is NOT Ohio.  In case you forgot.

I just wuv it.  (He bought it from this Etsy Store if you're wondering.)

After the festive present opening ended we went to Ruby Tuesday for my birthday dinner.  Because Ruby Tuesday has a dish there that is exactly 500 calories and is DELICIOUS.

*Side note: I did NOT cheat on my Slim-Fast 321 Plan at all yesterday!!

Who's a rockin' rock star that's so awesome she didn't cheat on her diet on her birthday?

THIS GIRL!

Woot! Woot!

So.  Anyone else share my birthday with me?  Surely one of you turned another year older yesterday too, right?  FESS UP!  Then we can console one another.

Signed,
The rockin' rock star that's so awesome she didn't cheat on her diet on her birthday.

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Chicken Cordon Bleu with Swiss-Wrapped Asparagus {A Lazy Mom Recipe}

Doesn't that title sound all non-lazy like?  But it really IS lazy, and a delicious Lazy Mom Recipe straight out of Robin Miller's cookbook, Robin Takes 5.

Speaking of Robin and her great new cookbook, I'm giving away two of them here, and today is the last day to enter to win! (Open to U.S. and Canada)

ALSO speaking of Robin and her great new cookbook, she's my special guest on the Lazy Mom Radio Show today!  She is giving away another cookbook to a live listener that is in the chat window!  Here's how to listen to the show today and chat in the chat window. Don't miss it!

Now on with the lazy recipe already!

Chicken Cordon Bleu
serves 4

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 5 ounces each)
8 ounces deli-sliced smoked ham
4 (1-ounce) slices Swiss cheese
4 tablespoons Dijon mustard with horseradish (we just used regular Dijon mustard)

Preheat oven to 375ºF. Coat a shallow roasting pan with cooking spray.

Place the chicken in a large freezer bag or between 2 pieces of plastic wrap and pound to a 1/2-inch thickness.  Top each chicken breast with the ham and Swiss cheese.  Starting from the shorter end, roll up each piece of chicken and secure with wooden picks.  Transfer the chicken to the prepared pan and season the top with salt and pepper.  Spread the mustard all over each chicken roll.  Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through.

For one serving of chicken, it's only 338 calories, but it's so delicious it feels like you're cheating and eating something super bad for you!

To go with this yummy chicken, we also made one of Robin's side dishes.

Swiss-Wrapped Asparagus Spears
serves 4

16 asparagus spears, ends trimmed
4 teaspoons honey mustard
8 slices Swiss cheese

Preheat the boiler.  Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.

Immerse the asparagus spears in a large pot of boiling water and boil for 5 minutes, until crisp-tender. Drain and pat dry with a paper towel.  Brush the honey mustard all over the asparagus. Wrap each slice of Swiss cheese around 2 asparagus spears, making 8 bundles.  Transfer the bundles to the prepared baking sheet and broil for 1 to 2 minutes, until the cheese is golden.  Season to taste with salt and pepper if desired.

Each serving, which is 2 bundles of asparagus spears, is just 82 calories!

So this whole delicious dinner is only 420 calories! And seriously feels like you're eating way more and leaves you very satisfied!

Now, if you aren't a big mustard fan, you can totally omit the mustard in both of these dishes and it would still be fabulous!

A big thank you to Robin Miller and her publisher, Andrews McMeel Publishing for allowing me to share this recipe with you!  Don't forget to listen to the Lazy Mom Radio Show today to hear more from Robin and possibly win her fabulous new cookbook!

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A World Away

My family and I just got back last night from a Ministers Retreat at Kalahari Resorts.

If you aren't familiar with what Kalahari Resorts is, let me give you a three word hint....

America's.

Largest.

Waterpark.

Did that help?

Yes, Kalahari is known for being the largest indoor waterpark in America.  And it is SO. MUCH. FUN.

But before I tell you about our stay at Kalahari, I have to tell you about some "preparation" I did for my looming gallivanting around in a swimsuit in a big ol' waterpark full of people I would know from all across our state. 

I got a spray tan.

Don't think less of me.

It was necessary, my lazy people.  Totally necessary.  You see, I'm SUPER fair.  Like, as a friend of ours says, that pasty-near-death-looking fair.  And I've spent my whole life this way.  I just don't tan.  Not even in tanning beds.  So I thought for fun I'd give a spray tan a go and see what happened.

I emailed Beauty Call by Liz for the job because I know she uses products developed by a Stage 3 melanoma cancer survivor, who decided to create an organic, natural-looking sunless tanning product for those who want that sun-kissed glow, without all the harmful effects of tanning. Liz came to my house, set up a tent for me to stand in and sprayed me down!  It was fun.  And she was very professional and made me feel totally comfortable.  Jiggly thighs and all. (Thanks Liz!)

Here's what I looked like moments before she sprayed me:

And here's what I looked like the next day:

TAN!  People!  I was TAN!!

(If you live in the Toledo Ohio area and want to use Beauty Call by Liz, be sure and tell her I sent you.  I love that she does it in your home!)

Okay.  Rocking my spray tan, we packed up and headed out to Kalahari for four days and three nights.  We shared a room with Jenilee and her family, so Kalahari hooked us up with their Village Suite.  It slept all ten of us with tons of space to spare and boasted a full kitchen. Check it out...

It was fabulous. And a great way to bunk with another family, make meals in your room and still have plenty of space to relax in!

But even though the room was wonderful, that, my friends, was NOT the main attraction.

You see, even though it looked like THIS outside the day we got there...

...we were busy doing this in balmy 84 degree weather....

That last picture is of their outdoor hot tub.  If you've never sat in a hot tub while it's really cold outside, then you are missing out!  It is so refreshing.  Seriously, you must do it!

But the waterpark isn't the only thing there is to do at Kalahari.  Oh my, no!  They have a FULL arcade, black light miniature golf, an indoor play structure, and so much more.  We played a round of bowling in their cute mini bowling alley:

Everything was smaller so it was super easy for the kids to play.

We also took advantage of some of the activities they host while you're there. My girl and I did the manicure one and it was fun mother-daughter time together.

BUT, we weren't just here for all of THAT.  We were also here for a conference, remember?

I was SUPER impressed with Kalahari's conference area.  It is HUGE.

Kalahari wouldn't have been the first thing to come to mind when I thought "conference," but it sure will be now!  The conference area was just perfect and very impressive.

But what was MOST impressive about Kalahari was their customer service.  Every employee, from the front desk check-in, to the lifeguards, to the ones you pass in the hallways, all the way up to the managers were so nice, helpful and went out of their way to make you feel like you truly were "a world away!"

And one last thing to leave you with.  At our conference, there was an "Ohio's Got Talent" night.  And for those of you who think Lazy Dad is all reserved and stuff, here's my chance to show you that he is NOT.  As in, AT. ALL.  He only is "reserved" when I ask him to do stuff for this here blog o' mine.

Here is Lazy Dad (on the left) with JulieAnn Pratt's husband (in the middle) and Jenilee's husband (on the right) doing their "talent."



A HUGE thank you to Kalahari Resorts for a great room upgrade and a free night stay in exchange for my honest review of our experience at their resort.  All opinions expressed are my own and our family had a fabulous time!

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