Monday Musings on Thursday {Cause That's How I Roll}

1.  This makes me laugh.

2.  I was going through some old cell phone pictures.  I came across this one.

It was from that one time we drove through a Wildlife Safari thingy.

I may or may not have been assaulted by this animal.

And I may or may not be in counseling about it.

3.  Speaking of the Wildlife Safari drive-thru thingy.

 

If those two pictures didn't make you laugh out loud (always my blog goal in life) then you simply MUST read this blog post (and the post I tell you to read at the top of it).  So you can laugh out loud over those two pictures.

Mkay?

4.  Also while browsing through old cell phone pictures I came across some Lazy Mom Recipes I had meant to share with you this year.

Things like this:

And this:

They got buried on my cell phone and never made it to the blog.

(Or somebody was lazy.)

5.  I ALSO found some Lazy Mom Tips I meant to share as well.

Put a plastic chair mat under your kids table to save your carpet!

Paperclip parchment sheets together when cutting out liners for your cake pans so they don't move on you and come out the same.

Again, SOMEBODY fell down on the job.

And those posts would have *totally* rocked.  I mean TOTALLY.

6.  I also came across this picture and couldn't remember if I had shown it to you or not:

Those people who say Christians are boring have never come to one of our state Family Camps.

7.  Incidentally, did I ever tell you the story about how another family at Family Camp has the SAME EXACT car we do?

And how we walked up to their car thinking it was ours?

And how when Lazy Dad and I opened our respective car doors to get in the car we froze in our tracks?

And how the first thought that came into my head while standing there was, "Oh my gosh! Who trashed our car?!"

And then we realized this was not our car, but the other family's car?

And then, and then, we told them what happened and come to find out they had done the same thing to OUR car that very same week at Family Camp.  Except they had wondered who had cleaned their car?!

Good times.

8.  I was hoping to make a new Christmas vlog for you all this year.  But, uh... see the conclusion of numbers 4 and 5 again.

So instead, I'll share with you LAST year's Christmas vlog.  It's the least I can do.

No, really.  The LEAST.



Merry Christmas!
The Lazy Mom

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My Half-Texans as Texans (What? It Made Sense In My Head.)

While the kids and I were in Texas I took the opportunity to take some pictures of them.

All I had with me was my cell phone.  But it takes pretty good pictures (I love my phone!)

I wanted pictures of my Half-Texans dressed up as Texans.

Just hanging out in downtown Nacogdoches. My hometown.

I love how the pictures turned out.

 Even though I am NO photographer!

Watch out mama's!

My Half-Texans make pretty good looking Texans!

One might not even know that they weren't born there!

I love the old Mercantile store (it's the store that has that awesome Coca-Cola mural on the side of it).

We went in to see if we could open our glass coke bottles, since they were the real deal and needed a thingy to open them.  You know, a glass bottle opener thingy?  (What ARE those things called?!)

Success!

Then I showed the kids how to drink their cokes with peanuts.

Have you ever done that before?  You pour the peanuts in the coke bottle.  Glass bottles are the best for this.

I love that I have these pictures of my kids in my hometown.  And I would highly recommend you do this with your kids in your hometown sometime. 

Now if Texas ever secedes from the nation, these pictures might just help us get back in.

And incidentally, is another reason I keep my birth certificate in a safe place.

When we were done downtown, I just HAD to get some more pictures of them in the Piney Woods of East Texas. 

But next time we visit, I might just hire a better photographer (with a better camera)!

Yee-haw!

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God Never Leans Over The Balcony of Heaven and Gasps {My Thoughts on Sandy Hook}

It is always my intention and goal with this blog to write posts that are light-hearted, fun to read, and (dare I say it?) injected with a bit of melodramatic humor.

I try very hard to steer clear of political discussions because it is my hope that my blog posts will brighten your day; not cause more distress and angst in an already over-populated world of distress and angst.

But today, I just can't bring myself to be so light-hearted.  Because my heart is heavy.

Heavy over what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown Connecticut on Friday.

And because of that, I am breaking from my normal protocol of blog content to share a few thoughts over this tragedy with you today.


Thought #1:
Any time there is a tragedy of this magnitude, the questions are always raised....  Where was God?  Why didn't He stop this from happening?  If He's a God of love, why does He allow this stuff to happen?

And all of those are valid questions when something so horrible and mind-numbing like Sandy Hook take place.  So I never ever judge people for asking them.

And in case you are wondering.  Here is my answer to these very serious questions:

We live in a fallen world.

It was never God's intention to have evil in the world he created.  Everything He created was "good."

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." Genesis 1:31a

But man wasn't satisfied with all he had been given, and through temptation allowed evil to enter the world.

"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." Genesis 3:6

So you see, because man was given a free will, to choose to obey God or disobey God, it was not GOD who allowed this to happen, it was fallen man living in a fallen world who allowed it to happen.


Thought #2:
As soon as the reports rolled in about this horrendous shooting, I saw lots of tweets about how these precious lives were cut short.  How they were robbed of the chance to grow up, live their lives, have children of their own.  Even the President expressed this in his address to the nation on Friday:

The majority of those who died today were children -- beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. They had their entire lives ahead of them -- birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own. 

And just like any parent out there, this thought brings me grief more than any other.  Then the thought hit me...

What's the difference between these precious children that lived 6 and 7 years of their lives and those that were not even allowed the chance to live 6 and 7 years outside of their mother's wombs?

Now, I know this is an incredibly touchy subject, but stop and think about it.  Don't babies that are aborted also have their "entire lives ahead of them?"  Aren't they also robbed of the chance to grow up and live their lives?

Seriously, how is that any less tragic?  Does one have to take their first breath in order for their death to be considered grievous?

Lord help us, if we only apply these sentiments to dear children who have had a chance to live and not to those who truly didn't.


Thought #3:
I've also have heard a lot of talk about how God wasn't at Sandy Hook Elementary because he's been pushed out of schools. 

And although I understand what people mean by this statement and agree that it is a travesty that God has been shunned in our public schools, I completely disagree with the thought that God was not there.  

God is everywhere at all times.  He never leans over the balcony of heaven and gasps.  He's not surprised or taken off guard over man's evil antics.  There is nowhere He does not see and there is not anywhere man can flee from him... including public schools in America.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:7-10

God was there.  And as one person simply posted on Facebook the day of the tragedy... 

"Jesus wept." John 11:35


Thought #4:
If God is not surprised, then why are we?  Why do we expect peace in a fallen world filled with evil?

Jesus himself said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33b

And why did He say this to His disciples? "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace." John 16:33a

If we seek peace in the world, we will be sorely disappointed.  Our peace can only come from God alone.  This world is a fallen world and fallen man that lives in it is going to do evil things.

But those who have believed on the Lord Jesus Christ (believing that He is the Son of God and that His death has put them back in right standing with God and that His resurrection gives them new life in Him) and given their lives to Him (no longer calling the shots in their lives, but giving all control to Him, desiring to obey God and stop disobeying Him as their fallen natures would want them to do) to those people... this fallen world is not their home.

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." Phillipians 3:20 

Living in a fallen world is what makes heaven so heavenly! 

"But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him." 2 Peter 3:13-14


Thought #5:
My last thought over this tragedy that has rolled around in my head over and over this weekend, and the one that I will leave you to ponder as well, is this: What would happen if mothers from all over our country stormed Washington and demanded change?

These are our babies dying.  These are our children's innocence that is being taken from them.  These are our kids that we don't feel safe leaving at schools anymore.

I, for one, am fed up with our government.  They can't seem to get anything done that's worth doing.  All they do is bicker and fight and tack on pork barrel spending that hold up other laws from passing (even disaster money for Hurricane Sandy victims! Have you heard about that?)  They can't even get their act together to work out something for the looming "fiscal cliff" we're all about to go over.

If the government can't do their job, they shouldn't get paid.   Every one else has to live by this rule, so why don't they?

I don't know about you, but THIS MAMA IS FED UP.

I think it's time for government reform.  And moms everywhere should demand it.


And with that final thought, I'm done.  For now.

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The Perfect Holiday Finger Food! (In My Opinion)

One of my favorite things about Christmas is the food!

(Did I just say that out loud?)

And one of my FAVORITE things to munch on during this festive time of year is something that is from Ohio with their corporate offices right here in the Toledo area... Hickory Farms.

Ohhhhh, baby!  Does mama love some Hickory Farms!

And this particular "Tastes of the Trade" package came with crackers, almonds and a tool bag! WHAT?!

True story.

Here's another true story....

The day our Hickory Farms package arrived, we just happened to be putting up the Kids Christmas Tree.

And by we, I mean the kids.

It was the perfect opportunity to break open the summer sausage, gourmet cheese and yummy crackers, put on one of our favorite Christmas movies (White Christmas) and get in a very festive mood!

And boy did we!

Who else loves Hickory Farms gift baskets out there?  It's the perfect holiday finger food!


Disclosure: Hickory Farms sent us this yummy package in exchange for my honest opinion about their products.  Which I have just expressed so eloquently above. (It was eloquent, um, right?) No other compensation was received.

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How To Soften Butter {A Lazy Mom Tip}

So, I don't know about you, but the last thing I need when I get all pepped up and motivated to make a recipe is to discover midway through my ingredient gathering that the recipe calls for butter that is softened.

NOOOOOOO!

It's a nightmare for us lazy moms.

No, really.  I wake up in sweats at night over this type of thing... non-softened butter.  It's terrifying.

I figured you all might have this same fear (again, the fear of non-softened butter) (when motivated to actually bake something), so I thought it was HIGH time I shared a little Lazy Mom Tip with you....

That's right people.  NO MORE FEAR OF NON-SOFTENED BUTTER!

Together we can conquer this crippling nightmarish mightmare by turning ice cold butter...

...into nice soft butter.

And thereby, saving your motivation to make that recipe!  (Because let's face it, I need all the motivation I can get, baby.)

SO.

Here's how I have discovered to soften butter in the microwave WITHOUT making a big melty mess of it.

Oh yes, my little lazy dears, the magic "defrost" button!

Let me walk you through this. (So we can conquer this fear together, mkay?)

Step 1: Put your unwrapped cold butter in a microwave safe dish and place in your sparkling clean microwave. 

Step 2: Push the magical defrost button.

Step 3: If it asks for the weight in pounds like mine does...

Simply enter 1 (making it .1):

Step 4: Hit start!

45 seconds will appear on your microwave (well, if it's anything like mine) and will beep every 15 seconds for you to turn it over.  But, um, don't turn it over.  Or, uh, your butter will fall out.  *ahem*

Instead I pull it out every 15 seconds (when it beeps at me) and see if it's softened to my liking yet.

Usually by the second beep (30 seconds of time has elapsed by then) the butter is soft, but not melted.  Thus making perfectly softened, softened butter!  (Was that redundant?)

Now.  I can hear some of you thinking... why don't you just set your microwave for 30 seconds then and not mess with the magical defrost button?

Well!  If you want melted butter, you just go right ahead and do that!  But for softened butter, the defrost button is the way to go!

(These same steps also works great on softening up cream cheese!)

So there you have it!  How to conquer the fear of non-softened butter and get you out of night sweats and back to baking again!

With Magical Defrost Button Love,
The Lazy Mom

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Lazy Caramel Corn {A No Bake Recipe!}

While I was in Texas, my sweet sister-in-law made us homemade caramel corn to snack on.  You may remember, she also packed some for us to munch on during our road trip back to Ohio.

Turns out this recipe was really easy and only has six ingredients (five if you don't count salt... which I normally don't).  So today, I thought I'd be just remiss'n if'n I didn't share this easy recipe with all of you!

BUT!  True to lazy mom form, I took this already easy recipe and made it lazy. 

(I just can't help myself!  I like things that are simplified and eliminate unnecessary steps in life!)

Almost all caramel corn recipes call for baking the caramel corn at a low temperature for an hour and stirring it every 15 minutes, but I'm here to tell you that with this lazy recipe you do NOT have to bake the caramel corn!

AHHHHHH!

(I know... it's exciting.)

So although this is my sister-in-law's recipe, I have changed the technique in order to bring you LAZY Caramel Corn. AND it's all done in ONE pot!

BAM!

You're welcome.

Lazy Caramel Corn

2 bags of microwave popcorn
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Pop bags of popcorn and dump into a bowl.  Use a bowl, so that the unpopped kernels will fall to the bottom of the bowl and not make their way into the caramel! (Ouch!)

In a large stockpot heat brown sugar, butter, corn syrup, and salt over medium heat.  (I put my stove dial on 6.) Stir occasionally to get the butter incorporated. (I stir with a sturdy heat-resistant spatula, but a wooden spoon is fine too.)

Once the brown sugar mixture starts to form big bubbles like this...

...start a timer for five minutes and do not stir any more (resist the urge to stir!!).

While the caramel is bubbling, put out on the counter sheets of wax paper.

Once the timer goes off, remove from heat and stir in the baking soda.  This will make the mixture turn foamy, so don't freak out.

Add the popcorn in by handfuls (do not dump the bowl of popcorn in, remember the unpopped kernels!).  Fold the popcorn into the caramel, careful not to burn yourself with the hot caramel!

Turn the popcorn out onto the sheets of wax paper and use your spatula or spoon to to break it up. I just pushed it down with the back of my spatula. Then once it's cooled to the touch a bit, I broke it up with my hands to make bite sized pieces.

Allow to cool completely and then store in an airtight container or put out in cute bowls for easy Christmas munching.

Ahhhhh, yeah.....

And Merry Christmas!

Love,
The Lazy Mom

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