I’m about to post a REALLY bad picture of me.
In fact, I can’t believe I’m even going to post it. But for the sake of “keeping things real” I will. I will post this picture proudly if it will shatter any pedestals you’ve put me on.
You know, the pedestal of gorgeousness.
The pedestal of super skinniness.
The pedestal of being tan.
You DO have me on them, right?
Well, no matter, because after this picture you won’t. And I’m okay with that. I like keeping things real. As in REALLY real.
Okay, have I delayed this picture long enough or what?
But I would just like to say that this picture is also REALLY bad because The Lazy Dad took it with his camera phone. And what you may not know is that statement was really two statements. Let me break it down for you…
1. The Lazy Dad took it.
2. With his camera phone.
And the reason that is two statements is because try as The Lazy Dad might, he just CAN’T take a good picture. We’ve been married 10 years and I’ve yet to see one come into existence. Bless his heart.
The second statement is because of this… His camera phone STINKS. Seriously, even though it has a higher amount of pixels for picture taking, IT STILL STINKS. It especially stinks in dark settings. So believe it or not I didn’t actually look as bad as this picture portrays. And I have witnesses. Somewhere.
Okay, I’ve delayed this picture from coming as long as I can, but it’s time.
But let me just say first, that it is my hope that now that I have built up just how bad this picture is that when you see it you will now think to yourself, “That wasn’t as bad as she made it out to be.” That’s a little trick I’ve learned over the years… make things sound worse than it may really be, so it actually doesn’t seem quite as bad. But that could be a whole ‘nother post for a whole ‘nother time. Maybe.
Okay. I won’t postpone any longer. I’m really doing it this time. Really, really doing it.
Here’s a picture of me at our Pastor’s Christmas dinner last night. *cringing*
*looking between my fingers*
Is it over yet?
Was it as bad as I had built you up to believe?
Have I fallen from all the pedestals you’ve placed me on?
Did I land hard and break anything?
Okay, now the reason I’m showing you this picture is because I want you to play a little game with me regarding this picture….
I want you to choose an answer from this multiple choice list, mkay?
This picture shows you that….
A. I am an accomplished harpist and I never told you.
B. I photoshopped a harp into a picture of me.
C. I threw some poor harpist off her chair and demanded I play her harp for a picture.
D. I need a sun tan in the worse possible way.
E. I’m super fly.
Go! Which one will you choose?
Leave a comment below with your answer and I’ll come back later today to tell you which one is correct. Whoever chooses the right answer will have the satisfaction of knowing they chose the right answer. And isn’t that the reason for the season?
I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m still in shock I posted that picture.
Now excuse me while I go sit in a corner in a dark room, rock back and forth and mumble to myself, “Why did I post that picture forever out in cyber world, why did I post that picture forever out into cyber world.”
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