There’s something strange happening around my house.
It’s giving me great cause for alarm.
And yes, even a serious case of the the, *gulp*, hibbie-jibbies.
Yup. It’s hibbie-jibbie serious.
I’ve slowly been noticing evidence of this alarming problem over the past several months. It started off quietly. Almost imperceptibly.
But then BAM! It smacked me across the face. Then another occurrence. Then another!
Things were starting to get out of control. My life wasn’t making sense anymore. My mind couldn’t take in the mounting evidence I was stumbling upon! *shudder*
I’ve taken the liberty to photograph the evidence so as to document the unfolding, world-changing, ramifications. Take a look for yourselves…. if you dare.
Exhibit A: packages of lunch meat unsealed.
Exhibit B: Packages of cheese unsealed.
And just when you think there might be a recurring theme here, check out Exhibit C:
Yes, even bread bags weren’t safe from this sweeping food-spoiling epidemic.
I was beginning to realize the source of this problem. Yes, the light was starting to dawn. But I needed more proof. After all, how many people would believe me, would believe my theory, with just three picture documentations?
And then it happened. Just when I was beginning to think this problem was contained within the confines of our refrigerator. Poof! More evidence! NOT IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
Yes. That was the final proof I needed to expose the source of my fear to the world! I could now prove that…
MY CHILDREN MUST NOT HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS!
The horror!!! The horror!!!!
Children with no opposable thumbs. I have documented proof people.
And… and…. I think I know where they get it from…… Their father!
The horror!!! Pray for me, people, PRAY FOR ME!!!!
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